'I hit on your girlfriend, I hit on Davey's wife, I gave your grandpa a sponge bath, I'm down for whatever!'

'Well, there are some important books that would help you immensely if you were going for a sociology degree, such as: The Archaeology of Knowledge by Michel F…

'My favorite foods used to be granola bars and chicken, but then I became vegetarian, so now it's just chicken.'

'God, remember Tab cola? It was so nasty, possibly the worst soft drink ever, even worse than Crystal Pepsi. I'll always think of Tab as the beverage of choice…

He had the kind of handshake that ought never to be used except as a tourniquet.

If a dog starts biting you, you can't kick it up the throat like it deserves. People always say 'Oh dear, poor little dog, he was only trying to be friendly. T…

Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to one's poise and prestige …