Jade Puget Quotes on Humor

34 quotes

  1. 'Mainly I've been dividing my time between working on my biceps by benchpressing Ferraris filled with supermodels and teaching the homeless to read.

  2. Kerrang : What's the cruellest prank you've ever pulled?

  3. 'Actually, we promised you dirt and hippy leaf cakes...'

  4. 'So Davey won World's Sexiest Vegetarian again. Whatever. I won World's Buffest Kickboxer, AGAIN. Jeez, that's gotta be like 10 times in a row now I've won that?'

  5. 'Davey doesn't watch the damn road when he's driving. I'm sure if we crashed, he would be fine and I would be embedded in a tree. If he ever kills me with his driving though, I'm gonna come back as a squirrel and run up his pant leg.'

  6. 'If you really want to see some ill patty cake, you have to see Davey and I do it. And then watch us play patty cake.'

  7. 'Sorry, that was me, not Davey that made that post, I seem to have a habit of using his name to pick up girls... *cough*...'boys'...*cough cough*...

  8. 'Yes, I'm a vegetarian, but not because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.'

  9. 'I love your duck with all its ducky goodness.' [In a Q&A when Jenny told him that, her duck loves him and asked if he loved it back.]

  10. 'So things are going just swell; we eat bagels, we play songs, we take our shirts off and wrestle.'

  11. 'I was sitting here without a shirt on, absentmindedly scratching my back with a pen for about five minutes and I just looked in the mirror and saw that I had drawn a nice mural on my back. It looks kind of like a map of Wyoming, with all the rivers and mountain ranges, or maybe a portrait of Bob Marley. Yes. Tablature.'

  12. 'I hit on your girlfriend, I hit on Davey's wife, I gave your grandpa a sponge bath, I'm down for whatever!'

  13. 'My favorite foods used to be granola bars and chicken, but then I became vegetarian, so now it's just chicken.'

  14. 'I like your jacket, it reminds me of toast and butter.'

  15. 'I still skate occasionally but last time I did, at our show in Hanford, I did a 360 front side varial over our rolled-up banner and broke every damn bone in my body. Ok, I only broke one bone. Well, I didn't break any bones, but I could have!'

  16. 'One time me and Davey were walking down the street and this guy comes up to us and is all, 'Ya'll must be from Grateful Dead!'

  17. 'Perhaps you could name your cat Meow so it could be smart and say its own name. Or you could name it Stupidcatgetoutofhere and it would be really confused if you tried to call it over to you.'

  18. 'Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!'

  19. 'I have a 2001 Civic, but it's only got one rim, so, you know, if our album does well I'm hoping to get three more rims, and then I think that'll be pimped to the maximum.'

  20. 'AFireInside, to me, means these three other guys who drink all the soy milk backstage before I get a damn drop of it.'

  21. Interviewer: 'Hey Jade, are the rest of the guys jealous that the entire 'Girl's Not Grey' video occurs in your crotch?'

  22. Nardwar The Human Serviette: 'Jade, is there any way to protect Danny's balls - oh I'm sorry, Davey's balls - when he jumps into the audience?'

  23. 'Is he in the tree? Tree snake, tree snake! Snakes on a tree.'

  24. 'I'm on the all Nerds diet.'

  25. 'End of the world! They stopped making my Adidas! How crushing. I'm just going to wear Wonder Bread bags on my feet now.'

  26. 'It's never too late to start playing an instrument. I just bought a harmonica, maybe we could start a really horrible band. We'll play guitar/harmonica screamo math rock and our name will be The Butterfly's or Fairy Dust, it's up to you. Our first album will be called, 'You Hurt My Feelings'. In other news, chords are a group of notes played simultaneously to create a harmonized sound, tablature is a system of musical notation for people who don't read music.'

  27. 'I used to annoy my brother when we were kids by pretending I had echolalia, which is a disease that causes people to repeat everything other people say. Smith: You're stupid. Me: You're stupid. Smith: Shut up! Me: Shut up! Smith: I'm a dumb uglyhead. Me: You're a dumb uglyhead.'

  28. 'You could be a hit man for the Scorpions; your job is to kill people and make me macaroni and cheese.'

  29. 'Je suis un pamplemousse. DONNEZ-MOI TOUS VOS CROISSANTS! (I am a grapefruit. GIVE ME ALL YOUR CROISSANTS!)'

  30. 'We don't support all the cows that are making the carbon dioxide, so... exactly.

  31. 'I support an all candy diet!'

  32. 'I'd like to ride around in a kangaroo pouch but I hear they're filled with mucus.'

  33. On New Years resolutions: 'I need to get like 34% more hyphy this year, shred 17.4% more often, use 2,000 more notes in each solo, my guitar needs to shoot flames that are at least 10 feet longer than they used to be, aaaand probably 1 more pound of lasers.'

  34. 'Spiffy is a free loading, deadbeat kitty who sits around on my couch, watches TV all day and eats all the Triscuits.'

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