On New Years resolutions: 'I need to get like 34% more hyphy this year, shred 17.4% more often, use 2,000 more notes in each solo, my guitar needs to shoot flames that are at least 10 feet longer than they used to be, aaaand probably 1 more pound of lasers.'
MusicHumorPerformanceAbsurdityGuitarExaggerationGoalsSolutions
It relies on knowing the artist to get the context.
'Being born, no? Being conceived maybe? Does the i in conceived come before the e? It looks wrong. I know that it's supposed to be i before e except after c, b…
'Spiffy is a free loading, deadbeat kitty who sits around on my couch, watches TV all day and eats all the Triscuits.'
'Probably, though, I'd go back to this morning and get the croissant instead of the bagel. I totally blew it.'
Guess what!?! I got a fever!....And the only prescription is more cowbell.
'Oh, what was that? Here try that again...this time toss it and say RUFUS! (Pause) That's always been my dream, to have girls to scream at me and be pummeled w…
'Why do people sing Take Me Out to The Ballgame when they're already there?'