Jay Leno Quotes on Politics
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I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for 'Running off to Canada'.
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How many watched the President's speech last night? [half-hearted audience applause] How many watched American Idol? [thundering applause] Okay, there you go! You get the government you deserve.
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So China's president [Hu Jintao] meets, uh- meets America's president. It's like President 'Who?' meeting President 'Huh?'.
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A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. [:] At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time.
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Afterwards, President Bush said, 'Maliki is the right man for the job.' Just to remind you, Bush also said FEMA's Michael Brown was the right man for the job, Donald Rumsfeld was the right man for the job, Tom DeLay was the right man for the job: which would be okay if Bush was the right man for the job.
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Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference.
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No, they said they do not believe in evolution, then they said the biggest threat to America: religious radicals living in the Dark Ages.
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'This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That's like a record.
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A 102-year-old tree fell over in front of the White House. They said this happening involved three factors: its age, a strong wind, and Patrick Kennedy's car.
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He's described as the architect of the war on Iraq. And he should be very proud, because he's built something that's going to last for years and years.
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With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?
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The Republicans are calling [this] a Wizard of Oz ticket... Cheney needs a heart, Bush needs a brain.