'It was me!' (Liar, Liar) (after passing gas in a crowded elevator)

I've done it! I've defiled a timeless piece of art! For my next bit, I'll paint a clown face on the Mona Lisa while using the Shroud of Turin as a drop cloth! …

'I've had better.' (Liar Liar) (after having sex with one of his law partners)

Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said 'You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm'. At the time this was the last th…

A nickname may be the best record of a success. That's what I call putting the face of a joke upon the body of a truth.

The embarrassment on all their faces. How inconvenient of her, to lay it on the line like this. To demand they face up to whatever was obvious to all of them. …