Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK.

Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go t…

We are not warriors in anyone's army. And that is not trying to be self-deprecating. I'm proud of what we do. I really like these two shows. I like making 'em.…

For those of you who are keeping score at home, I just want to make something very clear: Martin Scorsese, zero Oscars. Three 6 Mafia, one.

When I quoted Bulwer Lytton's 'The pen is mightier than the sword' to Marty Feldman he added reflectively, 'Yes, and considerably easier to write with.'

'You would now be an enemy, in the third class, of my own organization.' 'Only third class?' I asked in the indignant tones which Queen Victoria surely used wh…

It's a brilliant metaphor. What I meant to say was, when you see a monkey masturbating at the zoo...