I have this heavy addiction to life and I'm told that the withdrawal symptoms are shocking.

Fate's fickle finger was feeling for my fundament.

Sleep slunk up like a black panther and sank its kindly fangs into what remained of the Mortdecai brain.

It will be a sad day for the world when the Oriental gent realizes that Western bumbling is only Eastern guile in a different idiom. Well, a lot of it, anyway.

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.

Camus said there is only really one serious philosophical question, which is whether or not to commit suicide. I think there are four or five serious philosoph…

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.