Lily Tomlin Quotes on Humor

16 quotes

  1. I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves: I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.

  2. It's a more ridiculing, divisive humor today, especially with the advent of political incorrectness, which is a license to be as ridiculing and awful about certain groups... There should be room for everybody, absolutely, and then the culture is going to decide the prevailing weight. We can't decide it individually. Nobody is here without a reason. ... I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy - from broad and farcical, the most sensitive, the most understated - but I always wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it.

  3. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

  4. If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?

  5. Interviewer: You once said you had a drug problem... Lily: Yeah, I still do. It's so hard to find good grass these days.

  6. It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

  7. If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than 'survival of the fittest.' I think a better idea would be 'survival of the wittiest.' At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing.

  8. Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

  9. I may be schizophrenic, but I'll always have each other.

  10. Thank God kids never mean well.

  11. There will be sex after death; we just won't be able to feel it.

  12. We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

  13. One ringy dingy... two ringy dingy.

  14. How may I, in all humble servitude, be of assistance?

  15. What's that Mr. Veedle? Privileged information?... that's so cute.

  16. Don't hang up. You've angered me, and when you anger me you anger the phone company and all the power necessary to tie up your lines for the next fifty years. Do I make myself clear?

All Lily Tomlin quotes