Quote #45

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

More from Mitch Hedberg

  1. I dressed up for the CD
  2. Popsicles are for the summertime...
  3. My friend said to me, 'I think the weather's trippy.' I said, 'No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it is the way that we p…
  4. When you buy a box of Ritz crackers, on the back of the box, they have all these suggestions as to what to put on top of the Ritz. 'Try it …
  5. I never joined the army because 'at ease' never seemed that easy to me. It seemed rather uptight, still. I do not relax by putting my arms …
  6. This is what my friend said to me; he said, 'Guess what I like? Mashed potatoes.' It's like,'Dude. you have to give me time to guess. If yo…
  7. On a stop light green means go and yellow means slow down, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahe…
  8. I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

All Mitch Hedberg quotes