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It is a curious subject of observation and inquiry, whether hatred and love be not the same thing at bottom. Each, in its utmost development, supposes a high degree of intimacy and heart-knowledge; each renders one individual dependent for the food of his affections and spiritual life upon another; each leaves the passionate lover, or the no less passionate hater, forlorn and desolate by the withdrawal of his object.

Nathaniel Hawthorne#53

HawthorneLoveEmotionAttachmentDependenceHatredIntimacyRelationship

About this quote

What does it mean?
Hawthorne observes that hate and love both require deep intimacy, dependence, and leave one desolate when the object is gone.
In plain terms
Hate and love both need deep connection and leave you lost when it ends.
What can you take from it?
Intense emotions like love and hate share similar costs and dependencies.

Where it applies

  • examining intense emotions
  • processing loss
  • studying relationships

Putting it to work

  • recognize emotional dependency
  • prepare for emotional loss

Questions to consider

  • Are love and hate more alike than they seem?
  • What do we lose when a relationship ends?

Another view

It may equate emotions that differ greatly in moral and social effects.

More from Nathaniel Hawthorne

  1. Among many morals which press upon us from the poor minister's miserable experience, we put only this into a sentence: - 'Be true! Be true! Be true! Show freel…

    Permalink to quote #52
  2. Many writers lay very great stress upon some definite moral purpose, at which they profess to aim their works. Not to be deficient in this particular, the auth…

    Permalink to quote #54
  3. No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.

    Permalink to quote #51

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