I couldn't get elected to the Women's Republican Club of Westlake Village...as an honorary transexual.

Hey folks, it's Comb-Over. Now listen; I know it gets lonely. Well right now, you can buy the Comb-Over blow-up doll, it looks just like ME! Why have sex with …

The last two years my ass is falling.

AND WHY AM I SHOUTING, by the way? I'LL TELL YOU WHY, IT'S BECAUSE IT'S THE NEXT BEST THING TO HAVING A SHOW!