Quote #20

Money is the root of all jewelry.

More from Rita Rudner

  1. Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
  2. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
  3. In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
  4. My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
  5. I'm just like Dr. Phil, except I have hair, and I don't help anybody.
  6. My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my n…
  7. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
  8. My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

All Rita Rudner quotes