Quote #18

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

More from Rita Rudner

  1. I'm just like Dr. Phil, except I have hair, and I don't help anybody.
  2. Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
  3. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
  4. Money is the root of all jewelry.
  5. I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
  6. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
  7. I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
  8. My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

All Rita Rudner quotes