Quote #38

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Attribution disputed; shown as originally published.

More from Jacob Cohen

  1. My uncle's dying wish: he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
  2. My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go…
  3. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
  4. My wife isn't too smart. She has to reach inside her bra to count to two.
  5. My family was a bunch of drunks, when I was six I came up missing, they put my picture on a bottle of scotch.
  6. My wife is ugly. She's so ugly that when you look up ugly in the dictionary, there's her picture.
  7. Life is just a bowl of pits.
  8. My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

All Jacob Cohen quotes