God, look at the flare on these pants. I feel like a Clydsdale...(long pause)...that's a horse.' -November 1, 2005, Beacon Theatre, NYC

'It is a great tragedy that Rufus Wainwright is gay.' (responding to screaming female fan)

'I'm doing a new song in this show. Actually, I sang it on the last tour... It's a song, it's called 'Between My Legs,' and it's going to be another of my HUMO…

'I feel that physical beauty connects to the depths of our animalistic selves, and I don't know whether that's good or bad or what. but it's very confusing.'

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I wouldn't wear a tie-dyed tee-shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia. (1992)

I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.