'So you damaged our machine?' - 'I'm afraid so,' I sigh. 'I'm a system administrator, not really a cleaner.' - 'And I'm a lover, not a fighter,' the PFY adds, obviously having tipped a little too much tape-head cleaner on his Weeties this morning.

I hear a much smaller >CRASH< from below as the remote controlled lift fails to get to B2, due to the newly installed shaft obstruction. The PFY, bless him, is…

'No - apparently he had something with him at the meeting that didn't go down well. In fact, that's perhaps the best way to describe it.' - 'You mean he had a.…

'So, why tell them to connect a firehose to their machine?' - 'An analogy - big hose, lots of data. Surely no one would've actually connected a...' - 'Security…