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Steven Wright
Quote #163
If you're going to shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
More from Steven Wright
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went over to her house. There were no doors on the closets. The walls were covered with see-through wallpape…
(In his usual dry, monotone voice) 'Thanks.'
Sally plays strip-poker. Every time she loses she has to put on a piece of clothing.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included - so I had to buy them again.
You know that feeling when you're leaning back in a chair, and then you lean back too far and start to fall and just at the last second you…
I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
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