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Steven Wright
Quote #198
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
More from Steven Wright
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
My mechanic told me, 'I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.'
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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