Quote #50

I just lost a buttonhole. [while looking at stage floor]

More from Steven Wright

  1. I invented the cordless extension cord.
  2. I know a man who is a midget dwarf, he's this tall. [holding his thumb and forefinger three inches apart] He poses for trophies.
  3. I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!
  4. I like candy canes; they're my favorite candy. But I only like the white part.
  5. I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
  6. I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings...Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
  7. I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwel…
  8. I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

All Steven Wright quotes