7 Steven Wright Quotes on Objects

Steven Wright quotes on objects

25. (a few minutes later) I bought one of those little glass ball things with the snow in it... Just checking.

27. I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.

43. I have a decaffeinated coffee table. You'd never know it to look at it.

50. I just lost a buttonhole. [while looking at stage floor]

61. I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went 'Aaaaahhhh...'

146. Tinsel is really snake mirrors.

167. I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.