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Steven Wright
Quote #167
I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
More from Steven Wright
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included - so I had to buy them again.
I have a microwave fireplace. I can lay down in front of the fire for the evening in 8 minutes.
Sally plays strip-poker. Every time she loses she has to put on a piece of clothing.
I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went over to her house. There were no doors on the closets. The walls were covered with see-through wallpape…
I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me, and I didn't hear it.
If you're going to shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
If sometimes you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
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