Quote #168

I have a microwave fireplace. I can lay down in front of the fire for the evening in 8 minutes.

More from Steven Wright

  1. I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
  2. I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
  3. I bought some batteries, but they weren't included - so I had to buy them again.
  4. I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me, and I didn't hear it.
  5. Sally plays strip-poker. Every time she loses she has to put on a piece of clothing.
  6. If sometimes you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
  7. My friend Sally is a nudist. I went over to her house. There were no doors on the closets. The walls were covered with see-through wallpape…
  8. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

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