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Steven Wright
Quote #169
I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
More from Steven Wright
I have a microwave fireplace. I can lay down in front of the fire for the evening in 8 minutes.
I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me, and I didn't hear it.
I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
If sometimes you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included - so I had to buy them again.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Sally plays strip-poker. Every time she loses she has to put on a piece of clothing.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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