Steven Wright Quotes on Contradiction
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I have an answering machine in my car. It says, 'I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.'
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Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody's perfect so I stopped practicing.
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I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.