7 Steven Wright Quotes on Identity

Steven Wright quotes on identity

15. Do you think when they asked George Washington for his ID, he just pulled out a quarter?

33. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

34. I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one-it wasn't doing what I was doing.

98. I wish, when I was born, the first thing I said was 'Quote' so the last thing I said before I died would be 'Unquote.'

99. I woke up one day and everything in the apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica. I said to my roommate 'Can you believe this? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.' He said, 'Do I know you?'

103. I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, 'I think I might have written that.'

108. I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. When it's finished I'm going to sue myself.