When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody's perfect so I stopped practicing.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'

Winnie and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity...If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, y…

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.

Miss Frobisher smiles, with little cause that I know of. If Jesus of Nazareth had had before him the example of Miss Frobisher getting through the Latin degree…

I'm an instant star. Just add water and stir.

We got a good win today. I'm going to be there offensively, there's no question in my mind. But it feels good to contribute in some other way.