Steven Wright Quotes on Daily life
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I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, 'Hello, Information.' I said, 'I can't find my socks.' She said, 'They're behind the couch.' And they were!
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I just lost a buttonhole. [while looking at stage floor]
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I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went 'Aaaaahhhh...'
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The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.