Quote #51

I know a man who is a midget dwarf, he's this tall. [holding his thumb and forefinger three inches apart] He poses for trophies.

More from Steven Wright

  1. I just lost a buttonhole. [while looking at stage floor]
  2. I like candy canes; they're my favorite candy. But I only like the white part.
  3. I invented the cordless extension cord.
  4. I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings...Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
  5. I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!
  6. I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
  7. I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
  8. I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

All Steven Wright quotes