I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.

Si hubiera estado presente en la Creacion, habria dado algunas indicaciones utiles.

I get so excited when I know I'm going to a good restaurant, then, when I do the review, I write myself up into such a frenzy that I have to go out and eat all…

The only thing that stops God sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.