Quote #67

When I want to play with a prick, I'll play with my own.

More from W. C. Fields

  1. What rascal has been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice?
  2. When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours
  3. Sometimes I wish I wasn't W.C. Fields, but that's only when I can remember who I am.
  4. Women are like elephants, to me: I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
  5. The coldest day I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco (also attributed to Mark Twain)
  6. Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails.
  7. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar
  8. You can't cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in the first place.

All W. C. Fields quotes