Quote #65
Sometimes I wish I wasn't W.C. Fields, but that's only when I can remember who I am.
More from W. C. Fields
- The coldest day I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco (also attributed to Mark Twain)
- What rascal has been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice?
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar
- When I want to play with a prick, I'll play with my own.
- Thou shalt not commit adultery ... unless in the mood.
- When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours
- There's not a man in America who at one time or another hasn't had a secret desire to boot a child in the ass.
- Women are like elephants, to me: I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.