Quote #63

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar

More from W. C. Fields

  1. Thou shalt not commit adultery ... unless in the mood.
  2. The coldest day I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco (also attributed to Mark Twain)
  3. There's not a man in America who at one time or another hasn't had a secret desire to boot a child in the ass.
  4. Sometimes I wish I wasn't W.C. Fields, but that's only when I can remember who I am.
  5. There comes a time in the affairs of man when he has to take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
  6. What rascal has been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice?
  7. The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
  8. When I want to play with a prick, I'll play with my own.

All W. C. Fields quotes