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W. C. Fields
Quote #68
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours
More from W. C. Fields
When I want to play with a prick, I'll play with my own.
Women are like elephants, to me: I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
What rascal has been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice?
Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't W.C. Fields, but that's only when I can remember who I am.
You can't cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in the first place.
The coldest day I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco (also attributed to Mark Twain)
Here you have some razor blades. And now, play with them!
All W. C. Fields quotes
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