234 Wrestling Quotes

Happy Birthday to Steph. You're a ho with big breasts. So take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!

Look at The Rock's competition! Look at him! It looks like a big monkey came down here, took a crap, and out came Mankind!

The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eye brow raising, the best in the present, future and past, and if ya'll don't like me you can kiss the people's ass!

Now, Bad Ass, you run your mouth about SummerSlam. Well, here's the situation. The Rock says this: if the Rock hits you, he'll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway, so the choice is yours, jabroni!

Happy Birthday to Steph. You're a ho with big breasts. So take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!

On the night Test faced the Great One, this is what he'll see... twelve sharpshooters stinging, eleven eyebrows raising, ten spines a'bustin, nine noggins knocking, eight kicks a'kicking, seven punches punching, six suplexes smashing, five seconds of the people chanting The Rock's name ... four Rock Bottoms, three People's Elbows, on your two buck teeth, and an ass-kicking all over New Orleans!

I'm gonna take this (object), shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!

I'm gonna take this (object), shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!

On the eighth day, God created Mankind. Why was he having such a bad day? Why did he create all of you normal and forget so many important parts of me!? He made the teeth that I swallowed... The ear that was ripped from my skull! A face that no longer exists! Deep inside, you are merely a mirror image of all my atrocities! The ugliness that exists outside, lives inside every one of you!

'I've got balls the size of grapefruits, and come this Sunday you'll be spitting out the seeds!'

You are three seconds away, and The Rock means the seconds away, from The Rock to lay the smack down on your candy ass!

Stone Cold Steve Austin... The Rock knows how much you like to drink. So The Rock is offering you a couple of drinks tonight. The drinks are on The Great One. But here's a stipulation, Austin: The Rock says don't get drunk and pass out, or else you'll wake up with The Rock's fist in your mouth, and his foot up your ass!

Your house started to shake, the heavens opened up, and God Himself spoke to you and said this: 'Bob...' (little boy voice) 'But my name's Billy.' (back to Rock-voice) 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!'

So whether it's you Chris Jericho, Chris Jericho's Daddy, Chris Jericho's MaMa, Uncle Joe Jericho with the glass eye or maybe it's Grandpa Jimmy Jack Jericho with the iron lung, or hell, it might be even Grandma Jessebelle Jericho with the XX30 panties!

Big Show, you think you impress the Rock? Let The Rock make something perfectly clear to you. You have never, and The Rock means never, impressed The Rock. From the time your crappy music hits... Well, it's the Big Slow! And every single Rock fan stops, pauses, and takes a look, and they all say this: 'I'm going to take a leak; this guy sucks!'

'And you walk down the Rock's ramp and you step over the top rope, like that's supposed to impress somebody! And then, Big Show, you do something that is, without the shadow of a doubt, the most impressive thing the Rock's seen, and that's this-- (lifts hand in the air, Big Show-style and moans) huuuaaaagh!'

Who is booking this crap? The Rock against Billy Gunn; The Rock against Gangrel. Next week, they'll be having The Rock laying the Smackdown on the Brooklyn Brawler, for Christ's sake.

'Do you remember how, all year long, the only thing Rock wanted to do in your class was make pancakes?' 'You still like to cook? Still like to bake bread? And you know your rolls, right?' 'The Rock says this. You should know your role, and shut your mouth; take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-having ass directly into the Smackdown Hotel!'

THE ROCK: 'Before you come in here and start putting little stickers on the Rock's shirt and putting little streamers all over the Rock, the Rock just wants to know-- what is your name?' CLOWN: 'I'm--' ROCK: 'It doesn't MATTER what your name is!' MANKIND: 'Hey, hold it right there! It certainly does matter what her name is, and I'll tell you why! I tried real hard and I went to a lot of expense and time and effort to make this night real special for you! And one by one, you're going to insult my guests and make this night a bad night for me? Sometimes I think you're a very ungrateful little man, Rock!'

The Rock supposedly doesn't care about the history of the WCW? The Rock doesn't care about the WCW Title? Well The Rock knows damn well the history of the WCW Title. The Rock knows that the title traces back to Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz, Ricky Steamboat, and woooooooooo Ric Flair! The Rock also knows damn well, what in recent years the WCW Title has come to... Diamond Dallas Page? Booker T? The guy from Scream 2, the dog from Married with Children, the maid from the Jeffersons! Shane McMahon, this WCW title is just like your sister, everybody gets a turn!

On this night 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself came something so horrifying it sends chills up and down the bodies of men all over the world: tonight marks the birth of Stephanie McMahon.

On the night Test faced the Great One, this is what he'll see... twelve sharpshooters stinging, eleven eyebrows raising, ten spines a'bustin, nine noggins knocking, eight kicks a'kicking, seven punches punching, six suplexes smashing, five seconds of the people chanting The Rock's name ... four Rock Bottoms, three People's Elbows, on your two buck teeth, and an ass-kicking all over New Orleans!

The Rock knows exactly who you are! There's a green shirt, H on your chest, green mask ... oh you're the Hamburglar!

Arrest his green ass. Get him out of here. Get his green monkey ass out of here. Hey, arrest him, he's guilty of shoving Chicken McNuggets straight up his ass, arrest him.

You take it easy, Bill Goldberg. You take it easy, I tell you what... The Rock knows that you're nervous about this Sunday at Backlash, okay The Rock don't blame you! Cause you know The Rock is just gonna slap the taste outta your mouth this Sunday at Backlash, Bill Goldberg, you know that right? You know that, ol' gigglepanties, don't look at The Rock like that!

The Rock went down to Georgia Gettin' all these rants and raves Cause the people knew that if it was true Goldberg would choke just like the Braves! Now hold on, don't boo, you appreciate that one, you know you appreciate that one! Here we go, it goes like this, second verse! So when The Rock finally found Goldberg Breathing hard and full of gas Goldberg said 'You're next!', The Rock said 'Oh yeah, Shove it right up your candy ass!' Hey hey Bill Goldberg, don't get mad, don't get mad! Cause this is the chorus, here it goes... The Rock is the great one, run Goldberg run The Rock's got it all and you've got none Chickens in the breadpan, picking out dough Your town's a joke and your momma's a ho! Hey, don't you get mad, Bill Goldberg, don't get mad. Stomp your feet, clap your hands, cause your momma's a big fat ho dammit!

Where's Snow White and the rest of the Seven Dwarves? Sumbitches... Is this the best you got, Eric Bischoff? Sending The Rock out with a bunch of Oompa Loompas? (referring to CSC Event Staff escorting The Rock from the building. They are all smaller than him and with beer bellies.)

The Rock'll tell you what. Of all people you throw out of the building, of all people, live TV, you throw out the Rock? No wonder WCW went out of business! (To Eric Bischoff, calling out Bischoff's judgment call of throwing the Rock out of the arena in Rock's hometown, Miami, and parallels it to Bischoff's judgment calls resulting in the downfall of WCW)

(To Trish Stratus) Hey Mama! How you doin'? How you- no no no no no! The Rock's gotta go. Don't look at the People's Package. (To Tyson Tomko) Hell, you too, don't look! But it's cool, man! It's all good, I like your show, 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'. It's all good!

(To Hurricane and Rosey, the Super-Hero In Training) Aww, here are my boys, yeah! Hamburglar! Grimace! Naw, I'm only playin'. (to Hurricane) What it is, you, man! (to Rosey) Damn you don't talk every time the Rock gets around, you talk, man? Don't get like that! I bet you know how to say 'Super-size me' though, don't ya?

The Rock: IT-IT-IT-IT-IT DOESN'T MATTER!

The Rock: 'Now, back to you. Shawn Michaels. Are you and the Chippendale parade going to turn your tushsh around and make your way to the back of the queue? Or will The Rock have to take his size thirteen boot, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your ass!'

It sounds to 'The Great One' that 15,000 of The Rock's fans are callin' you a slut!

The Rock has but one thing to say (turns his head). Somebody got a haircut. That's right Big Show, you are no longer a long-haired 7ft 500lb piece of monkeycrap, you are now a short-haired 7ft 500lb piece of stinky Grade-A monkeycrap.

The thought of another DX night makes The Rock want to stick his finger down his throat and spew the people's vomit.

Just so The Rock understands this, you're the WCW Champion Sucker?

With Booker T being the World Champion Sucker and Shane McMahon wanting a piece of The Rock's ass, The Rock's beginning to wonder just WHAT kind of alliance you're running there!

On this night 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself came something so horrifying it sends chills up and down the bodies of men all over the world: tonight marks the birth of Stephanie McMahon.

Hulk Hogan, what'cha gonna do when The Rock runs wild on you? But you see Hogan, The Rock's gonna tell what's gonna happen. He's gonna tell you exactly what you're gonna do. You're gonna feel electricity like you've never felt before, electricity that's happened like never before. You will hear 70,000 strong chanting your name, chanting The Rock's name. Hulk Hogan, you will see the People's Elbow come crashing down on your chest. And Hogan, above all else, above all else, you will, you will, you will, you will, you will, good god almighty you will smell what The Rock is cooking!

What's happening with Chris Jericho and The RocK? (During his fued with Chris Jericho)

Eddie Guerrero, you want a shot at the Great One but there's only one problem. It's you never told him whether you you were Cheech or were you Chong! Y arriba y arriba ! Oh yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, The Rock ain't done! The Rock's got some more and it goes like this. Guerrero and The Rock in this ring will meet and when it's all over The Rock whooping ass on Latino Heat! Y arriba y arriba !

(third time Eddie tries) Eddie Guerrero! (in La Bamba song)

Okay okay okay! But let The Rock understand this big shot. You wanna go? Is that what you wanna do, Triple H? You and the The Rock, Triple H, one more time, do you wanna...go?' 'I would LOVE to go.'(Triple H) 'Well then go get The Rock a baloney sandwich 'cause this doesn't concern you. -both directed towards Triple H, during the same promo.

There is only one true Superstar of the Decade, true Superstar of the Millenium! You know who that is? The Rock'll tell you who that is! Toronto, that is - the jabroni-beating, pie-eating, trail-blazing, eyebrow-raising, stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, the biggest thing to hit Canada because the Maple Leaf sucks!

The Rock knows exactly who you are! There's a green shirt, H on your chest, green mask ... oh you're the Hamburglar!

Rock: 'I tell you what - who's your boy standing in the middle of the ring?'

Where's Snow White and the rest of the Seven Dwarves? Sumbitches... Is this the best you got, Eric Bischoff? Sending The Rock out with a bunch of Oompa Loompas? (referring to CSC Event Staff escorting The Rock from the building. They are all smaller than him and with beer bellies.)

(To Trish Stratus) Hey Mama! How you doin'? How you- no no no no no! The Rock's gotta go. Don't look at the People's Package. (To Tyson Tomko) Hell, you too, don't look! But it's cool, man! It's all good, I like your show, 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'. It's all good!

(To Hurricane and Rosey, the Super-Hero In Training) Aww, here are my boys, yeah! Hamburglar! Grimace! Naw, I'm only playin'. (to Hurricane) What it is, you, man! (to Rosey) Damn you don't talk every time the Rock gets around, you talk, man? Don't get like that! I bet you know how to say 'Super-size me' though, don't ya?

The Rock: '(to the Dudleyz) Who are you two roody poos?'

The Rock: 'Now, back to you. Shawn Michaels. Are you and the Chippendale parade going to turn your tushsh around and make your way to the back of the queue? Or will The Rock have to take his size thirteen boot, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your ass!'

MANKIND: 'Rock, what I'm about to do is show the millions--' THE ROCK: (Rock holds out his hand to stop Mankind) 'Don't you EVER do that again.' LAWLER: 'Gimmick infringement!'

The Undertaker cuts a promo to The Rock. Here is the opening line of The Undertaker's promo: 'Listen young man, and I do mean young.' Here is the ending line of The Undertaker's promo: 'I am going to take you to the learning tree!' A couple nights later on RAW, The Rock responds to Undertaker's promo: 'Undertaker, you run your mouth about how you're going to take The Rock to the learning tree. Well, you're not going to have to drag The Rock to the learning tree. The Rock will gladly go to the learning tree with you. And then he'll pause once we get there. He'll reach up and break off a branch, And he'll pick each and every leaf off of that branch. Then he'll turn it sideways and stick it straight up your candyass!'

'Tonight The Rock is going to play movie director, and let you see firsthand the unedited, uncut version of The Rock's major motion picture, entitled 'Laying The Smackdown on Your Roody-Poo Candy Ass!' And when it's all said and done, and all the smoke has cleared, and the millions and the millions of The Rock's fans have finished chanting his name, the Titanic will still be sunk, Monica Lewinsky will still love her cigars, and The Rock will have kicked the living piss out of Mankind!'

'I don't believe this; this is a bunch of monkey crap; they BROKE the Rock's ROLEX!'

You keep your head right there, jabroni; don't move The Rock's electrifying T-shirt! Now the Rock says this--The Rock said, don't move your head!'

You stand now, before The Rock, looking at The Rock, gawking at The Rock, wanting to go one-on-one with 'The Great One?' And now, in front of all The Rock's fans, you want to serve The Rock a great, big piece of that poontang pie?

This ain't 'Sing Along With The Rock'!

The Rock's gonna take your monkey ass down to the corner of Know Your Role Boulevard, turn right on Jabroni Drive...AND CHECK YOUR CANDY-ASS INTO THE SMACKDOWN HOTEL!

You wanna go one on one with the Great One?

Know your role, Jabroni. Know your role.

The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eye brow raising, I got a gift for you from Santa, an ass-whooping at WrestleMania like here in Atlanta!

Kurt Angle, you think you're really special because you've cashed in on the services of one Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, a two dollar no, a fifty cent no, buy two get one free does any one have change for a nickel skank ass slut?

Lillian Garcia, are you getting wet...(crowd howls) with perspiration at standing this close to The Rock?

Try the chicken nuggets, you fat sumbitch! (to Rosey)

Why did they label me a college dropout? The connotation is, he left to go have fun. Not that I served honorably in the Navy, went to college on the GI Bill, trained to be a pro wrestler, and took a job when the opportunity came up. Isn't that what college is for, to prepare you to earn a living? The positive is, I still have three years of eligibility left - if Harvard wants me for its football team.

Candido I'll beat your ass thats my creedo, I really think I'll make you bleed-o, Candido, Worse than Rocky to Apollo Creed-o, And on these fists like rocks he will feed-o as though they were two giant Cheedo's And when my mission is complete-o.. I'll see a skid inside his speedos, cause I'm going to beat Candido. Bang Bang.

Candido, oh Candido, I'll beat you up, I'll make you bleed-o Like Rocky did Apollo Creed-o Oh Candido I'll scare you stiff, oh yes indeed-o, You'll leave a skid mark inside your speedo Oh Candido.

That sounds good let me just put this pen behind my ea--whoops! It fell because I'm hardcore! I'm hardcore! I'm hardcore!

Owwww Steve-o looks like you could be looking for a little help like maybe a Tag team partner!, now I can understand you not wanting to team with that scraggy looking Mankind, but you never said nothin' about not teaming with 'The Hippest Cat in the land', Steve-o! baby!, It's me Dude Love and I'm Comin' to save the day Owww have mercy!

Mr Socko!!, Say hello to Mr Socko!, Mr Socko heard you (Vince McMahon) was feeling pretty bad so he came here to give your boo-boo a big kiss!

Have you met my friend, Mr. Socko?

Mankind's looking good he's showing a lot of testicular fortitude!

Leave the light on, I'm coming home!

Undertaker...I'm gonna eat you alive! Have a nice day!

Why do you make me hurt you???

The WWF will never be the same! Stone Cold you will never be the same! and I will never be the same!

You brought back a monster that was sleeping way too long!

You've brought back the hardcore legend, Cactus Jack!

When you die, I will spit on your own grave! (To Terry Funk)

I don't need a second rate ECW member (Tommy Dreamer) ruining the WWE! (To Terry Funk)

Edge and I made hardcore history at Wrestlemania 22!

ECW has a nasty smell, just like Texas! (To Terry Funk)

You love me like a son, then why weren't you there when Stone Cold Steve Austin awarded me the hardcore championship on my special night?! (To Terry Funk)

I loved ECW, back in the days when it was run by a visionary, when it was owned by a true creative genius. Let's hear it for Stephanie McMahon. Long live the Alliance! Long live the Alliance!

I'm a special guest referee for a special rib eating contest between Charles Barkley, and the Pheonix Gorilla, at my friend's restranat, right here in Pheonix, AZ!

'Anything can happen in the WWF!' (or World Wrestling Federation)

'A cover, a count and a win' (pinfall)

'Let's take a look at some of the events that led up to this exciting match-up we're about to see'

'He did not!' (Whenever heel co-commentator suggests a babyface used 'heel tactics')

'You can't even say it!' (To Jerry Lawler when he stuttered and couldn't pronouce 'World Wrestling Federation Championship')

'Baaaaaaaaaaack body-drop!'