234 Wrestling Quotes

Happy Birthday to Steph. You're a ho with big breasts. So take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!

Look at The Rock's competition! Look at him! It looks like a big monkey came down here, took a crap, and out came Mankind!

The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eye brow raising, the best in the present, future and past, and if ya'll don't like me you can kiss the people's ass!

Now, Bad Ass, you run your mouth about SummerSlam. Well, here's the situation. The Rock says this: if the Rock hits you, he'll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway, so the choice is yours, jabroni!

Happy Birthday to Steph. You're a ho with big breasts. So take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!

On the night Test faced the Great One, this is what he'll see... twelve sharpshooters stinging, eleven eyebrows raising, ten spines a'bustin, nine noggins knocking, eight kicks a'kicking, seven punches punching, six suplexes smashing, five seconds of the people chanting The Rock's name ... four Rock Bottoms, three People's Elbows, on your two buck teeth, and an ass-kicking all over New Orleans!

I'm gonna take this (object), shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!

I'm gonna take this (object), shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!

On the eighth day, God created Mankind. Why was he having such a bad day? Why did he create all of you normal and forget so many important parts of me!? He made the teeth that I swallowed... The ear that was ripped from my skull! A face that no longer exists! Deep inside, you are merely a mirror image of all my atrocities! The ugliness that exists outside, lives inside every one of you!

'I've got balls the size of grapefruits, and come this Sunday you'll be spitting out the seeds!'

You are three seconds away, and The Rock means the seconds away, from The Rock to lay the smack down on your candy ass!

Stone Cold Steve Austin... The Rock knows how much you like to drink. So The Rock is offering you a couple of drinks tonight. The drinks are on The Great One. But here's a stipulation, Austin: The Rock says don't get drunk and pass out, or else you'll wake up with The Rock's fist in your mouth, and his foot up your ass!

Your house started to shake, the heavens opened up, and God Himself spoke to you and said this: 'Bob...' (little boy voice) 'But my name's Billy.' (back to Rock-voice) 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!'

So whether it's you Chris Jericho, Chris Jericho's Daddy, Chris Jericho's MaMa, Uncle Joe Jericho with the glass eye or maybe it's Grandpa Jimmy Jack Jericho with the iron lung, or hell, it might be even Grandma Jessebelle Jericho with the XX30 panties!

Big Show, you think you impress the Rock? Let The Rock make something perfectly clear to you. You have never, and The Rock means never, impressed The Rock. From the time your crappy music hits... Well, it's the Big Slow! And every single Rock fan stops, pauses, and takes a look, and they all say this: 'I'm going to take a leak; this guy sucks!'

'And you walk down the Rock's ramp and you step over the top rope, like that's supposed to impress somebody! And then, Big Show, you do something that is, without the shadow of a doubt, the most impressive thing the Rock's seen, and that's this-- (lifts hand in the air, Big Show-style and moans) huuuaaaagh!'

Who is booking this crap? The Rock against Billy Gunn; The Rock against Gangrel. Next week, they'll be having The Rock laying the Smackdown on the Brooklyn Brawler, for Christ's sake.

'Do you remember how, all year long, the only thing Rock wanted to do in your class was make pancakes?' 'You still like to cook? Still like to bake bread? And you know your rolls, right?' 'The Rock says this. You should know your role, and shut your mouth; take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-having ass directly into the Smackdown Hotel!'

THE ROCK: 'Before you come in here and start putting little stickers on the Rock's shirt and putting little streamers all over the Rock, the Rock just wants to know-- what is your name?' CLOWN: 'I'm--' ROCK: 'It doesn't MATTER what your name is!' MANKIND: 'Hey, hold it right there! It certainly does matter what her name is, and I'll tell you why! I tried real hard and I went to a lot of expense and time and effort to make this night real special for you! And one by one, you're going to insult my guests and make this night a bad night for me? Sometimes I think you're a very ungrateful little man, Rock!'

The Rock supposedly doesn't care about the history of the WCW? The Rock doesn't care about the WCW Title? Well The Rock knows damn well the history of the WCW Title. The Rock knows that the title traces back to Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz, Ricky Steamboat, and woooooooooo Ric Flair! The Rock also knows damn well, what in recent years the WCW Title has come to... Diamond Dallas Page? Booker T? The guy from Scream 2, the dog from Married with Children, the maid from the Jeffersons! Shane McMahon, this WCW title is just like your sister, everybody gets a turn!

On this night 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself came something so horrifying it sends chills up and down the bodies of men all over the world: tonight marks the birth of Stephanie McMahon.

On the night Test faced the Great One, this is what he'll see... twelve sharpshooters stinging, eleven eyebrows raising, ten spines a'bustin, nine noggins knocking, eight kicks a'kicking, seven punches punching, six suplexes smashing, five seconds of the people chanting The Rock's name ... four Rock Bottoms, three People's Elbows, on your two buck teeth, and an ass-kicking all over New Orleans!

The Rock knows exactly who you are! There's a green shirt, H on your chest, green mask ... oh you're the Hamburglar!

Arrest his green ass. Get him out of here. Get his green monkey ass out of here. Hey, arrest him, he's guilty of shoving Chicken McNuggets straight up his ass, arrest him.

You take it easy, Bill Goldberg. You take it easy, I tell you what... The Rock knows that you're nervous about this Sunday at Backlash, okay The Rock don't blame you! Cause you know The Rock is just gonna slap the taste outta your mouth this Sunday at Backlash, Bill Goldberg, you know that right? You know that, ol' gigglepanties, don't look at The Rock like that!

The Rock went down to Georgia Gettin' all these rants and raves Cause the people knew that if it was true Goldberg would choke just like the Braves! Now hold on, don't boo, you appreciate that one, you know you appreciate that one! Here we go, it goes like this, second verse! So when The Rock finally found Goldberg Breathing hard and full of gas Goldberg said 'You're next!', The Rock said 'Oh yeah, Shove it right up your candy ass!' Hey hey Bill Goldberg, don't get mad, don't get mad! Cause this is the chorus, here it goes... The Rock is the great one, run Goldberg run The Rock's got it all and you've got none Chickens in the breadpan, picking out dough Your town's a joke and your momma's a ho! Hey, don't you get mad, Bill Goldberg, don't get mad. Stomp your feet, clap your hands, cause your momma's a big fat ho dammit!

Where's Snow White and the rest of the Seven Dwarves? Sumbitches... Is this the best you got, Eric Bischoff? Sending The Rock out with a bunch of Oompa Loompas? (referring to CSC Event Staff escorting The Rock from the building. They are all smaller than him and with beer bellies.)

The Rock'll tell you what. Of all people you throw out of the building, of all people, live TV, you throw out the Rock? No wonder WCW went out of business! (To Eric Bischoff, calling out Bischoff's judgment call of throwing the Rock out of the arena in Rock's hometown, Miami, and parallels it to Bischoff's judgment calls resulting in the downfall of WCW)

(To Trish Stratus) Hey Mama! How you doin'? How you- no no no no no! The Rock's gotta go. Don't look at the People's Package. (To Tyson Tomko) Hell, you too, don't look! But it's cool, man! It's all good, I like your show, 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'. It's all good!

(To Hurricane and Rosey, the Super-Hero In Training) Aww, here are my boys, yeah! Hamburglar! Grimace! Naw, I'm only playin'. (to Hurricane) What it is, you, man! (to Rosey) Damn you don't talk every time the Rock gets around, you talk, man? Don't get like that! I bet you know how to say 'Super-size me' though, don't ya?

The Rock: IT-IT-IT-IT-IT DOESN'T MATTER!

The Rock: 'Now, back to you. Shawn Michaels. Are you and the Chippendale parade going to turn your tushsh around and make your way to the back of the queue? Or will The Rock have to take his size thirteen boot, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your ass!'

You Sick Freak!

'Undertaker, do you think you impress The Rock by coming out here with your little Undertaker symbol and claim to steal the souls of all those jabronis? Do you think you impress The Rock by taking your eyes and rolling them up into the back of your head? Well, The Rock says, if you really wanna impress The Rock, then you will come to King of the Ring and you will put the WWF Title on the line and go one on one with the Great One! And Undertaker, when the Great One's music hits: 'Do you smell what The Rock is cooking', and 20,000 asses are standing on their feet with goosebumps running through their body, all chanting The Rock's name, 'Rocky, Rocky'' *crowd starts chanting his name* 'then, Undertaker, you bring your monkey ass to the people's ring and you come and you try to sacrifice The People's Champ. But here's the twist: instead, Undertaker, of taking your eyes and rolling them up into the back of your head, The Rock says that take your entire thirty-three pound head, turn it backwards like The Exorcist, have it roll down your back, catch it with both your hands. And then, Undertaker, The Rock says, take your own head and proceed to shove it directly up your candy ass!'

The Rock has dream, has a dream that he's winning the Royal Rumble, going on to Wrestlemania and from coast to coast, Wisconsin to China, and back to Wisconsin! Sea to shining sea, The Rock one more time on top of the mountaintop, WWF Champion! And you see just like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr had a dream, well we all have dreams, but there has been one dream that has become a reality to The Rock, one dream thats becoming true to The Rock. Day after day, night after night, 24 hours a day,.... 7 days a week, 365 days a year, and that one dream is The Rock forever whipping ass, whipping ass....Thank God Almighty, The Rock is whipping ass! If ya smell....what The Rock is cooking!

Lillian: Rock, we heard the news earlier today. You're gonna be defending at Unforgiven, your WCW title against Shane McMahon and Booker T. How do you feel about that? The Rock: Who are you just Barbara Walters all of a sudden, Lillian? Since when did you become all business, Lillian? How about a simple 'Hey Rock'. 'How you doin Rock?'. 'Did you enjoy lunch today Rock?'. 'Did you like your pancakes Rock?'. How about something like that. Lillian: But Rock, like I said, at Unforgiven. You're gonna... The Rock: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Lillian. Lillian. You need to let your feelings go. The Rock knows you have feelings for him. The Rock knows that you think about The Rock. The Rock knows that you get that funny feeling in the bottom of your stomach, Lillian. The Rock knows that each and every single time you go right out there in the middle of The People's ring and you ring announce, you think about The Rock looking at you. Admit it Lillian, that you go to bed every single night dreaming about marrying The Rock. Dreaming of one day to become Mrs. Lillian 'Rockcia'. Admit it Lillian, you get wet... with perspiration standing this close to The Rock... Now, Llilian, The Rock knows how you feel about pie. But how do you feel about strudel? Lillian, would you like to try some of The Rock's strudel? Lillian: More than anything in the world, Rock. The Rock: What in the blue hell is wrong with you? The Rock was just informed that he had a match at Unforgiven. A handicap match between The Rock, Booker T and Shane McMahon and the only thing you can think about and talk about is dessert? A little professionalism, Lilian Garcia, please! (Lillian begins to speak) Shh. Shh. Shhhhhh. (Camera focuses on The Rock, while he turns to the camera) Shane McMahon, you wanna book the match between the Rock and Booker T? Well, The Rock says 'why don't we just cut right to the chase?' Shane McMahon, The Rock sees how you look at Booker T. Booker T, The Rock sees how you look at Shane McMahon. So why not get it over with and have a damn baby? The Rock can see it now. Little Booker Mac. First words out of his mouth: (high-pitched voice) 'Can you dig it, sucka?' (performs the Shane 'O Mac Shuffle) You see, Shane McMahon. At Unforgiven... At Unforgiven, 19 days, 19 nights from this night forward, at Unforgiven, it's gonna be you two who'll have to forgive The Rock for taking his right boot and his left boot, turn 'em sideways and sticking them straight up both your candy asses! (Camera zooms out to include Lillian holding the WCW Championship) Now, Lillian Garcia. Back to your question. How does The Rock feel about Unforgiven? Well, The Rock feels about Unforgiven, just as he feels about tonight's eight man Tag Match, right here in T.O. The Rock feels about 'em just as he feels about everything else and that is simply electrifying. If you smell what The Rock... Lillian, stop thinking about The People's Strudel... is cooking! - September 4, 2001 episode of SmackDown!, Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Canada

You know, Brock Lesnar, you wanna play games with The Rock? Ya think you wanna play mind games, is that what you wanna do? You think you're real smart, Brock Lesnar, why, because you came down here and you brought yourself a front row ticket? You and that big fat walrus so he could cheer you on? But you see, you're real smart, Brock, 'cause you do have a front row ticket, but you've also got another ticket, and that's to a big brahma bull ass whoopin', not yesterday, no no no no no, no no, no no no no no no, no, the ass whoopin' is not yesterday, it's not tomorrow, the brahma bull ass whoopin' is toinght! - promo on Brock Lesnar on the August 12, edition of Raw in Seattle

Who is The Rock? Who is The Rock? Oh, you should know who The Rock is, you interrupt The Rock, The Rock'll be the guy to get in that ring, tighten his shoes and whoop your ass! Or maybe you don't remember, you and The Rock, Triple H and The Rock, well The Rock, let The Rock break it down for you: The Rock, the most electrifying man in sports and entertainment; The Rock...The Rock, brahma bull, great one, People's Champ, and oh - to say the least, The Rock is something you're not, Undisputed Champion, so shut up, bitch

Buh-Buh Ray Dudley: 'You should know by now, that we are...the D-D-D-D--

Teasing Gorilla Monsoon during WrestleMania III

But what's it really done? Where have we really come to? Lying in a hospital bed in Munich, Germany, watching my ear being thrown out into a garbage can, not being able to take it on the trip back because I don't know the German word for formaldehyde, and having a nurse walk into my room, looking at that piece of my body that's laying in the bottom of the garbage, and saying 'es ist alles ein Schauspiel', which means it's all a big joke. Excuse me, I didn't know, do you open up the lungs of a smoker and say 'oh my golly, I thought smoking was supposed to be good for you?!' Do you open up Terry Funk's non functioning liver and say, 'Oh! I didn't know that four decades of heavy drinking took this kind of toll?!' So if they show that much respect to the patients, then what made me any different? Because I was a wrestler. And professional wrestling will never be respected, no matter how many teeth I lose, no matter how many ears I lose, no matter how many brain cells have to die!'

'There's only one Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels...oh wow! Look at that!'- Shawn Michaels' entrance at WrestleMania 12

Stephanie walks into her and Triple H's room and catches Triple H showing Trish Stratus finishing moves

Gennifer Flowers: I'm here with the Intercontinental Champion-- The Rock: Whoa, actually, Genny, it's The People's Intercontinental Champion. GF: Excuse me... The People's Intercontinental Champion, The Rock. Now, Rock, the people want to know--if you were the leader of this country, how would you run things? TR: Well, actually, Genny, The Rock feels like this. First and foremost, the term 'leader' is really beneath The Rock. The Rock feels like a more appropriate term would... 'ruler.' GF: OK, if you were the ruler, how would you handle the homeless situation? TR: I'll tell you what, Genny, that's a touchy subject for The Rock, the homeless situation in America. The Rock feels like this: as long as The Rock still has his palatial palace down on South Beach in Miami, FL, he really couldn't give a damn whether they live in a Frigidaire box or a Kenmore box. As long as those homeless pieces of trash keep their cardboard boxess off The Rock's freshly mowed grass, everything will be copasetic. GF: Well, how about the judicial system? TR: Well, first and foremost, as long as The Rock's fans across the country realize that The Rock is the judge and the jury, everything should be fine. Actually, after The Rock has contemplated that for a second, if The Rock were the jury, nine times out of ten he'd be a hung jury... if ya smell what The Rock is cooking. GF: How would you run the White House? TR: Tough job, tough question. But The Rock of course is up to answering it. The Rock feels like this: As long as all the interns in the White House, beneath The Rock, knew their damn role, and they didn't get out of hand, step out of line, and they didn't do anything orally wrong--excuse me, Genny--morally wrong, then The Rock wouldn't have to do what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown in a major way. Thank you very much, Genny.

Now, Bad Ass, you run your mouth about SummerSlam. Well, here's the situation. The Rock says this: if the Rock hits you, he'll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway, so the choice is yours, jabroni!

*The Rock puts his t-shirt over Michael Cole's face* You keep your head right there, jabroni! Don't move The Rock's electrifying t-shirt. The Rock says this. *turns to Michael Cole* The Rock said don't move your head! Undertaker, you talk about The Rock! You run your mouth about The Rock and like you've just unturned a stone. You've turned over a stone that's never been turned over before, on how The Rock writes checks that his ass can't cash because The Rock talks trash! Like all of a sudden, nobody knows The Rock talks trash! The Rock lives, breathes, talks trash all day long! *removes sunglasses* As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock... As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock talks trash in his sleep. Just like this... *closes eyes and says in sleepy voice* roody poo candy ah... layeth the smacketh down on your candy... know your role... *opens eyes and snaps out of sleepy mode* The fact of the matter is this, Undertaker... *puts sunglasses back on* ...Is that tonight, and you and Big Show, it doesn't matter who it is because whether it is here tonight, or whether it is at Unforgiven, every damn night of the week, if you shut your mouth, *points in another direction* you shut your mouth, this goof holding the camera shut his mouth, *points in another direction* this chick gawking at The Rock shut her mouth... *points at Mankind* You be quiet, *points at Michael Cole* you too! Shh, shh, shh! If you listen, all The Rock's fans are chanting his name. *Fan's chant 'Rocky! Rocky!'* *Mankind starts chanting 'Rocky!' with the crowd, and The Rock points at him to stop him* Eh-eh! *points at Michael Cole* Keep your head still, jabroni! The Rock says this, is that tonight, he's gonna do one thing and that is lay the smackdown on your ROO-DY POO *crowd finishes it by chanting 'CANDY ASS'* if you smell what The Rock is cookin'!

Take a little walk down Know You Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and then proceed to check your Aunt Jemima no-pancake-havin' ass di-rectly into the Smackdown Hotel!

The Rock says...

Do you like pie?

Have a nice day!

Say hello to Mr. Socko!

:and that is final!

I am not a bad guy!

'I ALWAYS win.'

'Get me security'

'Here comes the money!'

Finally, The Rock has come back to New Jersey! Just as sure as The Rock for the very first time stood in this arena and called Kevin Kelly an ugly hermaphrodite is just as sure as this Sunday the Rock will be at Hell in a Cell. Now make no mistake this will be the most brutal match The Rock has ever been in. The most dangerous match The Rock has ever been in. The Hell in a Cell. And it doesn't matter, Kevin Kelly, what you call it. Whether it's called a Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage, painus in you anus, the only the thing that matters, is that The Rock is going in this Sunday night, to do exactly what he does best - layeth the smacketh down and get back The Rock's WWF title. And the fact of the matter is this, is that The Rock knows this Sunday night, he has his work cut out for him. The Rock knows, he's got five other guys he's got to compete with. And even if The Rock has got to beat Kurt Angle, which means, 'I'm gonna drink a big glass of milk, eat some chocolate chip cookies and maybe I'll take three viagra'. Or maybe The Rock has got to face Rikishi, beat Rikishi. 'I did it for The Rock. I did it for the people. I did it for... oh, shut your mouth, you thong wearin' fatty. Or maybe The Rock has got to beat The Undertaker, the American Badass, beat him so bad, that one more he'll raise up... 'Rest in peace!' Or maybe The Rock has got to beat Triple H himself, which means-uh, he's got to beat The Game-uh, in the middle of the ring-uh. And he has a two dollar slut for a wife-uh! Or maybe The Rock, has gotta beat...(puts on Stone Cold baseball cap) Stone Cold Steve Austin. Which means I gotta get my pick-up truck, drink some Steve-wisers, listen to some Backstreet Boys. And that's the bottom line, 'cause the Great One said so! One more thing, this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock is gonna do all he can to win the WWF title. If ya smell...what The Rock is cooking!!

Rock: Finally, The Rock has come back to New Jersey! Just as sure as for the very 1st time, Kevin Kelly, the rock stepped right is this Arena and called you an ugly hermaphrodite, is as sure as this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock will be in hell, in a cell. This is gonna be the most brutal match The Rock has ever been in. The dangerous-est match The Rock has ever been in. The Hell-in-a-cell. And it doesn't matter Kevin Kelly what you call it. Whether it's called a Hell-in-a-cell, or rage-in-the-cage, painus-in-your-anus, the only thing that matters is that The Rock is going in this sunday night to do exactly what he does best. And thats layeth the smackdown and get back The Rocks WWF Title. And the fact of the matter is this, is that The Rock knows, this Sunday night he's got his work cut out for him. The Rock knows he's got 5 other guys he's gotta compete with, and even it The Rock's gotta beat Kurt Angle, which means - - (Mocking Kurt Angle) I'mm gonna drink a big glass of milk! Have some chocolate cookies, and maybe have 3 viagra! (Normal Voice) Or maybe The Rock's gotta face Rikishi, beat Rikishi! (Imitating Rikishi) I did it for the rock. I did it for the people. I did it for - - (Normal Voice) Oh, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU THONG-WEARIN' FATTY! Or maybe, The Rock's gotta beat the Undertaker, the American Bad-Ass. Beat him so bad that one more time he'll rise up - - (imitating undertaker) Rest... In... Peace......... ('Fainting' but rising, and speaking in his normal voice) or maybe The Rock's gotta beat Triple-H himself - - (Imitating HHH) Which means-ah... He's gotta beat The Game-ah... In the middle of the Ring-ah... And he has a 2-dollar s*** for a wife-ah...... (Normal Voice) Or maybe The Rock, has gotta to beat - - (Wearing Stone-Cold Steve Austin's hat, and speaking with his southern accent) Stone Cold Steve Austin, which means, I gotta get in, I gotta get in my Pick-up truck, drink some Steve-Weiser, listen to some Backstreet Boys... (silence) ... and That's the bottom Line, 'cuz the Great One said so! (Normal Voice) And one more thing, this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock's gotta do all he can to win the WWF Title, IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEELL......... WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!

Finally, The Rock has come back to New Jersey! Just as sure as The Rock for the very first time stood in this arena and called Kevin Kelly an ugly hermaphrodite is just as sure as this Sunday the Rock will be at Hell in a Cell. Now make no mistake this will be the most brutal match The Rock has ever been in. The most dangerous match The Rock has ever been in. The Hell in a Cell. And it doesn't matter, Kevin Kelly, what you call it. Whether it's called a Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage, painus in you anus, the only the thing that matters, is that The Rock is going in this Sunday night, to do exactly what he does best - layeth the smacketh down and get back The Rock's WWF title. And the fact of the matter is this, is that The Rock knows this Sunday night, he has his work cut out for him. The Rock knows, he's got five other guys he's got to compete with. And even if The Rock has got to beat Kurt Angle, which means, 'I'm gonna drink a big glass of milk, eat some chocolate chip cookies and maybe I'll take three viagra'. Or maybe The Rock has got to face Rikishi, beat Rikishi. 'I did it for The Rock. I did it for the people. I did it for... oh, shut your mouth, you thong wearin' fatty. Or maybe The Rock has got to beat The Undertaker, the American Badass, beat him so bad, that one more he'll raise up... 'Rest in peace!' Or maybe The Rock has got to beat Triple H himself, which means-uh, he's got to beat The Game-uh, in the middle of the ring-uh. And he has a two dollar slut for a wife-uh! Or maybe The Rock, has gotta beat...(puts on Stone Cold baseball cap) Stone Cold Steve Austin. Which means I gotta get my pick-up truck, drink some Steve-wisers, listen to some Backstreet Boys. And that's the bottom line, 'cause the Great One said so! One more thing, this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock is gonna do all he can to win the WWF title. If ya smell...what The Rock is cooking!!

Rock: Finally, The Rock has come back to New Jersey! Just as sure as for the very 1st time, Kevin Kelly, the rock stepped right is this Arena and called you an ugly hermaphrodite, is as sure as this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock will be in hell, in a cell. This is gonna be the most brutal match The Rock has ever been in. The dangerous-est match The Rock has ever been in. The Hell-in-a-cell. And it doesn't matter Kevin Kelly what you call it. Whether it's called a Hell-in-a-cell, or rage-in-the-cage, painus-in-your-anus, the only thing that matters is that The Rock is going in this sunday night to do exactly what he does best. And thats layeth the smackdown and get back The Rocks WWF Title. And the fact of the matter is this, is that The Rock knows, this Sunday night he's got his work cut out for him. The Rock knows he's got 5 other guys he's gotta compete with, and even it The Rock's gotta beat Kurt Angle, which means - - (Mocking Kurt Angle) I'mm gonna drink a big glass of milk! Have some chocolate cookies, and maybe have 3 viagra! (Normal Voice) Or maybe The Rock's gotta face Rikishi, beat Rikishi! (Imitating Rikishi) I did it for the rock. I did it for the people. I did it for - - (Normal Voice) Oh, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU THONG-WEARIN' FATTY! Or maybe, The Rock's gotta beat the Undertaker, the American Bad-Ass. Beat him so bad that one more time he'll rise up - - (imitating undertaker) Rest... In... Peace......... ('Fainting' but rising, and speaking in his normal voice) or maybe The Rock's gotta beat Triple-H himself - - (Imitating HHH) Which means-ah... He's gotta beat The Game-ah... In the middle of the Ring-ah... And he has a 2-dollar s*** for a wife-ah...... (Normal Voice) Or maybe The Rock, has gotta to beat - - (Wearing Stone-Cold Steve Austin's hat, and speaking with his southern accent) Stone Cold Steve Austin, which means, I gotta get in, I gotta get in my Pick-up truck, drink some Steve-Weiser, listen to some Backstreet Boys... (silence) ... and That's the bottom Line, 'cuz the Great One said so! (Normal Voice) And one more thing, this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock's gotta do all he can to win the WWF Title, IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEELL......... WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!

Hold the mic up, jabroni, before The Rock slaps the taste out of your mouth! You *referring to Stone Cold Steve Austin* come out here and you spit your little talk about how the Rock comes out and spits his little nursery rhymes. Well, I'll tell you what, the Great One has a little nursery rhyme for you, Stone Cold, and it goes like this: Mary had a little lamb... Well, I'll tell you what, piss on the lamb, piss on Mary, and piss on you! The Rock is gonna go out there tonight and do what do what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown on your roody-poo *crowd finishes it for him by saying 'candy ass'* - Uh uh! Hey! Don't do it! Don't do it, because the Rock guaran-damn-tees to prove to you *points to audience*, you *points to interviewer*, this goof holding the camera, this chick gawking at the Rock, he will prove to the millions *crowd finishes it for him* and millions of the Rock's fans exactly why the Rock is the Great One, exactly why the Rock is the chosen one, and exactly why the Rock is without a shadow of a doubt the best damn WWF champ there ever was, if you smelllllll *crowd says 'smell' along with him* - Hey! Uh uh Philly! This ain't sing-a-long with the champ! If ya smelllllalalalalow what the Rock... *The Rock pauses very theatrically, lifts a hand to his face, uses it to turn his head to the side, pushes his chin down, and cocks the People's Eyebrow* ...is cooking!

Wrestlemania XV, the Brahma Bull against the Rattlesnake. It does not get any better than that. Stone Cold Steve Austin, as far as the The Rock is concerned, the greatest book ever written is entitled 'The Brahma Bull vs. The Rattlesnake.' And the beauty of this novel is that it has infinite chapters. Which means it never ends. It also means, for the rest of your natural life, The Rock will be kicking your monkey crap ass all over God's Green Earth... And when it's all said and done, all the smoke has cleared, and the millions and the millions of The Rock's fans have finished chanting his name... and you and The Rock float up to that big World Wrestling Federation ring in the sky, and you extend your hand and say, 'Hey Rock, thanks for the memories...' don't be surprised if The Rock looks at you, raises The People's Eyebrow, shakes your hand right back and says, 'No, Stone Cold... thank you for the memories.' And then, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock will take his other hand and slap the tase right out of your mouth for being the biggest piece of Trailer Park Trash walking God's Blue Heaven!

Roody-poo candy ass

Jabroni!

Shut your damn mouth.

Stone Cold: 'The whole world knew that Bret Hart wasn't going to even show up. Stone Cold sure as hell knew that. The bottom line is when Stone Cold is in the house, Bret Hart is at his house because he's scared of Stone Cold and that's the bottom line. As soon as I rolled into the WWF, Bret Hart you packed your bags and took your carcass to Canada.'

'You know how you once had that thing where the wrestler rode a little bus all over the country, shakin' hands, and kissing babies? You should have a Stone Cold Express, where I get out in every town and kick everyone's ass. At least that wouldn't suck.' (to Vince McMahon, referring to Lex Luger's 'Lex Express')

'You want mercy? Take your ass to church!'

'You come out here and say this is an order and that's an order! Hell, I can look at you son and the only thing you've been ordering is a whole bunch of damn cheeseburgers!' (to Sgt. Slaughter)

'I got nothing to say to you. Just park my damn truck, and if you scratch it, you're gonna get your ass whipped.' (Austin to Michael Cole, when he arrived at the Royal Rumble 1998.)

'I'll toss you out on your ass, you sorry piece of trash!'

'Don't take this ass-whippin' personally, son!'

'Somebody's gonna get their ass whipped!'

'I'm gonna kick your ass up and down every inch of that damn ring!'

'I'll put my roody-poo foot up his roody-poo ass!' (about The Rock)

'DTA (Don't trust Austin)'

'DTA (Don't trust anybody)'

'McMahon 3:16 says I just pissed my pants!' (After holding a gag gun to Vince McMahon's head, causing him to urinate in his trousers)

'Hey Booker, Got Milk?' (During a fight with Booker T in a grocery store)

'Pricecheck on jackass!!' (To Booker T after beating him up in a grocery store.)

'I'm calling you a creepy little bastard because you creep me out!' (To Christian)

'I'm here to drink beer and raise hell!'

'I am the master of the middle finger!' (WM 21 Gladiator Commercial)

'Tune in next week, Same Stone Cold Time, Same Stone Cold Channel!' (parody of the most famous Batman ending narration: Tune in next week, Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel!)

'I don't know about 'Humanitarian of the Year,' Vince, but if you think it should be 'Jackass of the Year,' gimme a hell yeah!'

'You little mealy mouthed bastard.'

'Since you're a piece of crap, I challenge you to flush yourself down the commode.'

'You got your goofy little haircut' ('What?') 'Your stupid boots' ('What?') 'Your little dress' ('What?') (To Rowdy Roddy Piper at WM 21 with fans.)

'Got a problem with that?'

'My Name is Stone Cold Steve Austin, I am the World Wrestling Federation champion and I can not be stopped' (repeated mutiple times)

'Oh, this will be an ass-whippin' you'll never forget.'

'It's funny your Dad always talks about having balls the size of grapefruits, but I think you might be the balls of the family.' (to Stephanie McMahon)