Selected wrestling quotes

1. Happy Birthday to Steph. You're a ho with big breasts. So take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!

2. Look at The Rock's competition! Look at him! It looks like a big monkey came down here, took a crap, and out came Mankind!

3. The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eye brow raising, the best in the present, future and past, and if ya'll don't like me you can kiss the people's ass!

4. Wrestling is ballet with violence.

5. Look! I can't even wear glasses because my ear is missing. I'm hardcore! I'm hardcore!

6. Now, Bad Ass, you run your mouth about SummerSlam. Well, here's the situation. The Rock says this: if the Rock hits you, he'll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway, so the choice is yours, jabroni!

7. Happy Birthday to Steph. You're a ho with big breasts. So take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!

8. Layeth the smacketh down.

9. The Rock is going to lay the smack down all over your candy ass!

10. This is The Rock's show! This is SmackDown!

11. On the night Test faced the Great One, this is what he'll see... twelve sharpshooters stinging, eleven eyebrows raising, ten spines a'bustin, nine noggins knocking, eight kicks a'kicking, seven punches punching, six suplexes smashing, five seconds of the people chanting The Rock's name ... four Rock Bottoms, three People's Elbows, on your two buck teeth, and an ass-kicking all over New Orleans!

12. I'm gonna take this (object), shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!

13. I'm gonna take this (object), shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!

14. On the eighth day, God created Mankind. Why was he having such a bad day? Why did he create all of you normal and forget so many important parts of me!? He made the teeth that I swallowed... The ear that was ripped from my skull! A face that no longer exists! Deep inside, you are merely a mirror image of all my atrocities! The ugliness that exists outside, lives inside every one of you!

15. 'I've got balls the size of grapefruits, and come this Sunday you'll be spitting out the seeds!'

16. You are three seconds away, and The Rock means the seconds away, from The Rock to lay the smack down on your candy ass!

17. Stone Cold Steve Austin... The Rock knows how much you like to drink. So The Rock is offering you a couple of drinks tonight. The drinks are on The Great One. But here's a stipulation, Austin: The Rock says don't get drunk and pass out, or else you'll wake up with The Rock's fist in your mouth, and his foot up your ass!

18. Your house started to shake, the heavens opened up, and God Himself spoke to you and said this: 'Bob...' (little boy voice) 'But my name's Billy.' (back to Rock-voice) 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!'

19. So whether it's you Chris Jericho, Chris Jericho's Daddy, Chris Jericho's MaMa, Uncle Joe Jericho with the glass eye or maybe it's Grandpa Jimmy Jack Jericho with the iron lung, or hell, it might be even Grandma Jessebelle Jericho with the XX30 panties!

20. Big Show, you think you impress the Rock? Let The Rock make something perfectly clear to you. You have never, and The Rock means never, impressed The Rock. From the time your crappy music hits... Well, it's the Big Slow! And every single Rock fan stops, pauses, and takes a look, and they all say this: 'I'm going to take a leak; this guy sucks!'

21. 'And you walk down the Rock's ramp and you step over the top rope, like that's supposed to impress somebody! And then, Big Show, you do something that is, without the shadow of a doubt, the most impressive thing the Rock's seen, and that's this-- (lifts hand in the air, Big Show-style and moans) huuuaaaagh!'

22. Who is booking this crap? The Rock against Billy Gunn; The Rock against Gangrel. Next week, they'll be having The Rock laying the Smackdown on the Brooklyn Brawler, for Christ's sake.

23. 'Do you remember how, all year long, the only thing Rock wanted to do in your class was make pancakes?' 'You still like to cook? Still like to bake bread? And you know your rolls, right?' 'The Rock says this. You should know your role, and shut your mouth; take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-having ass directly into the Smackdown Hotel!'

24. THE ROCK: 'Before you come in here and start putting little stickers on the Rock's shirt and putting little streamers all over the Rock, the Rock just wants to know-- what is your name?' CLOWN: 'I'm--' ROCK: 'It doesn't MATTER what your name is!' MANKIND: 'Hey, hold it right there! It certainly does matter what her name is, and I'll tell you why! I tried real hard and I went to a lot of expense and time and effort to make this night real special for you! And one by one, you're going to insult my guests and make this night a bad night for me? Sometimes I think you're a very ungrateful little man, Rock!'

25. We do slapstick... steel chairs, garbage cans... and our guys live to fight another day.

26. The Rock supposedly doesn't care about the history of the WCW? The Rock doesn't care about the WCW Title? Well The Rock knows damn well the history of the WCW Title. The Rock knows that the title traces back to Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz, Ricky Steamboat, and woooooooooo Ric Flair! The Rock also knows damn well, what in recent years the WCW Title has come to... Diamond Dallas Page? Booker T? The guy from Scream 2, the dog from Married with Children, the maid from the Jeffersons! Shane McMahon, this WCW title is just like your sister, everybody gets a turn!

27. On this night 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself came something so horrifying it sends chills up and down the bodies of men all over the world: tonight marks the birth of Stephanie McMahon.

28. On the night Test faced the Great One, this is what he'll see... twelve sharpshooters stinging, eleven eyebrows raising, ten spines a'bustin, nine noggins knocking, eight kicks a'kicking, seven punches punching, six suplexes smashing, five seconds of the people chanting The Rock's name ... four Rock Bottoms, three People's Elbows, on your two buck teeth, and an ass-kicking all over New Orleans!

29. The Rock knows exactly who you are! There's a green shirt, H on your chest, green mask ... oh you're the Hamburglar!

30. Arrest his green ass. Get him out of here. Get his green monkey ass out of here. Hey, arrest him, he's guilty of shoving Chicken McNuggets straight up his ass, arrest him.

31. You take it easy, Bill Goldberg. You take it easy, I tell you what... The Rock knows that you're nervous about this Sunday at Backlash, okay The Rock don't blame you! Cause you know The Rock is just gonna slap the taste outta your mouth this Sunday at Backlash, Bill Goldberg, you know that right? You know that, ol' gigglepanties, don't look at The Rock like that!

32. The Rock went down to Georgia Gettin' all these rants and raves Cause the people knew that if it was true Goldberg would choke just like the Braves! Now hold on, don't boo, you appreciate that one, you know you appreciate that one! Here we go, it goes like this, second verse! So when The Rock finally found Goldberg Breathing hard and full of gas Goldberg said 'You're next!', The Rock said 'Oh yeah, Shove it right up your candy ass!' Hey hey Bill Goldberg, don't get mad, don't get mad! Cause this is the chorus, here it goes... The Rock is the great one, run Goldberg run The Rock's got it all and you've got none Chickens in the breadpan, picking out dough Your town's a joke and your momma's a ho! Hey, don't you get mad, Bill Goldberg, don't get mad. Stomp your feet, clap your hands, cause your momma's a big fat ho dammit!

33. Rock: 'I tell you what - who's your boy standing in the middle of the ring?'

34. Where's Snow White and the rest of the Seven Dwarves? Sumbitches... Is this the best you got, Eric Bischoff? Sending The Rock out with a bunch of Oompa Loompas? (referring to CSC Event Staff escorting The Rock from the building. They are all smaller than him and with beer bellies.)

35. The Rock'll tell you what. Of all people you throw out of the building, of all people, live TV, you throw out the Rock? No wonder WCW went out of business! (To Eric Bischoff, calling out Bischoff's judgment call of throwing the Rock out of the arena in Rock's hometown, Miami, and parallels it to Bischoff's judgment calls resulting in the downfall of WCW)

36. (To Trish Stratus) Hey Mama! How you doin'? How you- no no no no no! The Rock's gotta go. Don't look at the People's Package. (To Tyson Tomko) Hell, you too, don't look! But it's cool, man! It's all good, I like your show, 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'. It's all good!

37. (To Hurricane and Rosey, the Super-Hero In Training) Aww, here are my boys, yeah! Hamburglar! Grimace! Naw, I'm only playin'. (to Hurricane) What it is, you, man! (to Rosey) Damn you don't talk every time the Rock gets around, you talk, man? Don't get like that! I bet you know how to say 'Super-size me' though, don't ya?

38. The Rock: '(to the Dudleyz) Who are you two roody poos?'

39. The Rock: IT-IT-IT-IT-IT DOESN'T MATTER!

40. The Rock: 'Now, back to you. Shawn Michaels. Are you and the Chippendale parade going to turn your tushsh around and make your way to the back of the queue? Or will The Rock have to take his size thirteen boot, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your ass!'

41. Try the chicken nuggets, you fat sumbitch! (to Rosey)

42. Why did they label me a college dropout? The connotation is, he left to go have fun. Not that I served honorably in the Navy, went to college on the GI Bill, trained to be a pro wrestler, and took a job when the opportunity came up. Isn't that what college is for, to prepare you to earn a living? The positive is, I still have three years of eligibility left - if Harvard wants me for its football team.

43. Candido I'll beat your ass thats my creedo, I really think I'll make you bleed-o, Candido, Worse than Rocky to Apollo Creed-o, And on these fists like rocks he will feed-o as though they were two giant Cheedo's And when my mission is complete-o.. I'll see a skid inside his speedos, cause I'm going to beat Candido. Bang Bang.

44. Candido, oh Candido, I'll beat you up, I'll make you bleed-o Like Rocky did Apollo Creed-o Oh Candido I'll scare you stiff, oh yes indeed-o, You'll leave a skid mark inside your speedo Oh Candido.

45. That sounds good let me just put this pen behind my ea--whoops! It fell because I'm hardcore! I'm hardcore! I'm hardcore!

46. Owwww Steve-o looks like you could be looking for a little help like maybe a Tag team partner!, now I can understand you not wanting to team with that scraggy looking Mankind, but you never said nothin' about not teaming with 'The Hippest Cat in the land', Steve-o! baby!, It's me Dude Love and I'm Comin' to save the day Owww have mercy!

47. Mr Socko!!, Say hello to Mr Socko!, Mr Socko heard you (Vince McMahon) was feeling pretty bad so he came here to give your boo-boo a big kiss!

48. Have you met my friend, Mr. Socko?

49. Mankind's looking good he's showing a lot of testicular fortitude!

50. Leave the light on, I'm coming home!

51. Undertaker...I'm gonna eat you alive! Have a nice day!

52. Why do you make me hurt you???

53. The WWF will never be the same! Stone Cold you will never be the same! and I will never be the same!

54. You brought back a monster that was sleeping way too long!

55. You've brought back the hardcore legend, Cactus Jack!

56. When you die, I will spit on your own grave! (To Terry Funk)

57. I don't need a second rate ECW member (Tommy Dreamer) ruining the WWE! (To Terry Funk)

58. Edge and I made hardcore history at Wrestlemania 22!

59. ECW has a nasty smell, just like Texas! (To Terry Funk)

60. You love me like a son, then why weren't you there when Stone Cold Steve Austin awarded me the hardcore championship on my special night?! (To Terry Funk)

61. I loved ECW, back in the days when it was run by a visionary, when it was owned by a true creative genius. Let's hear it for Stephanie McMahon. Long live the Alliance! Long live the Alliance!

62. I'm a special guest referee for a special rib eating contest between Charles Barkley, and the Pheonix Gorilla, at my friend's restranat, right here in Pheonix, AZ!

63. 'Anything can happen in the WWF!' (or World Wrestling Federation)

64. 'A cover, a count and a win' (pinfall)

65. 'Let's take a look at some of the events that led up to this exciting match-up we're about to see'

66. 'He did not!' (Whenever heel co-commentator suggests a babyface used 'heel tactics')

67. 'You can't even say it!' (To Jerry Lawler when he stuttered and couldn't pronouce 'World Wrestling Federation Championship')

68. 'Baaaaaaaaaaack body-drop!'

69. 'No one gets up from that'

70. 'Come on ref, get in there'

71. 'No he has not been eliminated, you have to go over the top-rope and both feet must hit the arena floor' (repeated many times during Royal Rumble match)

72. 'Ha-HA-HAAAAA!' (Often when either Bret Hart hands out his shades, or following a Doink 'joke')

73. 'You've got no chance in hell.'

74. 'Excuse me while I whip this out!'

75. 'Go ahead and kiss my magnificent ass. Go ahead. DAMMIT! YOU KISS MY ASS NOW!'

76. 'I'm The Genetic Jackhammer!'

77. 'I'm the new ECW Champion! I can feel it in my bones!'

78. 'I'm the Doctor of Hardcore!'

79. 'Vince, shut up. I'm the one doing the talking in this ring tonight.'

80. 'It was me; It was me dad that hired Stone Cold back! It was me!'

81. (to Kane) 'Burn in Hell, you son of a bitch'

82. (to Kane) 'HAVE A NICE RIDE!'

83. 'Yours Truly, Shane O Mac.'

84. 'Yo yo yo, what hell is this?'

85. Vincent James McMahon (Vince's Father)

86. Hold the mic up, jabroni, before The Rock slaps the taste out of your mouth! You *referring to Stone Cold Steve Austin* come out here and you spit your little talk about how the Rock comes out and spits his little nursery rhymes. Well, I'll tell you what, the Great One has a little nursery rhyme for you, Stone Cold, and it goes like this: Mary had a little lamb... Well, I'll tell you what, piss on the lamb, piss on Mary, and piss on you! The Rock is gonna go out there tonight and do what do what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown on your roody-poo *crowd finishes it for him by saying 'candy ass'* - Uh uh! Hey! Don't do it! Don't do it, because the Rock guaran-damn-tees to prove to you *points to audience*, you *points to interviewer*, this goof holding the camera, this chick gawking at the Rock, he will prove to the millions *crowd finishes it for him* and millions of the Rock's fans exactly why the Rock is the Great One, exactly why the Rock is the chosen one, and exactly why the Rock is without a shadow of a doubt the best damn WWF champ there ever was, if you smelllllll *crowd says 'smell' along with him* - Hey! Uh uh Philly! This ain't sing-a-long with the champ! If ya smelllllalalalalow what the Rock... *The Rock pauses very theatrically, lifts a hand to his face, uses it to turn his head to the side, pushes his chin down, and cocks the People's Eyebrow* ...is cooking!

87. 'Undertaker, do you think you impress The Rock by coming out here with your little Undertaker symbol and claim to steal the souls of all those jabronis? Do you think you impress The Rock by taking your eyes and rolling them up into the back of your head? Well, The Rock says, if you really wanna impress The Rock, then you will come to King of the Ring and you will put the WWF Title on the line and go one on one with the Great One! And Undertaker, when the Great One's music hits: 'Do you smell what The Rock is cooking', and 20,000 asses are standing on their feet with goosebumps running through their body, all chanting The Rock's name, 'Rocky, Rocky'' *crowd starts chanting his name* 'then, Undertaker, you bring your monkey ass to the people's ring and you come and you try to sacrifice The People's Champ. But here's the twist: instead, Undertaker, of taking your eyes and rolling them up into the back of your head, The Rock says that take your entire thirty-three pound head, turn it backwards like The Exorcist, have it roll down your back, catch it with both your hands. And then, Undertaker, The Rock says, take your own head and proceed to shove it directly up your candy ass!'

88. The Rock has dream, has a dream that he's winning the Royal Rumble, going on to Wrestlemania and from coast to coast, Wisconsin to China, and back to Wisconsin! Sea to shining sea, The Rock one more time on top of the mountaintop, WWF Champion! And you see just like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr had a dream, well we all have dreams, but there has been one dream that has become a reality to The Rock, one dream thats becoming true to The Rock. Day after day, night after night, 24 hours a day,.... 7 days a week, 365 days a year, and that one dream is The Rock forever whipping ass, whipping ass....Thank God Almighty, The Rock is whipping ass! If ya smell....what The Rock is cooking!

89. Yo, listen! The Rock knows who you are! He knows who you are! 3rd generation wrestler! Yeah yeah! As a matter of fact, The Rock remembers very distinctly: Long time ago, remember meeting your daddy - 'Cowboy' Bob Orton, yeah, with the cast on his hand, I remember that! And I also remember some cat named 'Soulman' Rocky Johnson whuppin' your daddy's ass!! No, wait a minute, no, it keeps goin' back! Your granddaddy, Bob Orton, Senior! The Rock's granddaddy, 'High Chief' Peter Maivia layin' Samoan Smackdown on his monkey (says next word off-mic) ass! Oh even back, way back more than that! Your big fat ass grandmammy, your mammy, they all complained! Hell, The Rock's grandmama, his mama right there slapped the lips of all two them bitches! (Orton comments on how all the hometown fans can chant The Rock's name, but they know who 'The Man' is, referring to himself) I tell you what, the Rock even remembers you! I remember you! I remember you, how 'bout the gerbil? Do you remember the gerbil? Don't forget - (Orton comments on how they never knew each other as kids and doesn't remember the gerbil) Wait, wait, that's funny. We never knew each other as a kid? Well, let the Rock remind you. The Rock remembers in the locker room, your old man, sittin' there, callin' The Rock over: (changes to a pseudo-Bob Orton voice) 'Hey Dwayne! I want you to meet my son. There's Randy Orton!' (changes his voice back to normal) I remember that! I remember looking at you sittin' there picking your nose, wipin' it on your shirt. And of all things, of all things, you were sittin' in the locker room, sittin' in the locker room playin' with a My Lil' (trails off because he didn't want to say 'little') Pretty Pony! (Orton comments on how he never had with a Pretty Pony) You never had a Pretty Pony, you never had a Pretty Pony? (An exasperated Orton says it was his sister's, now is embarrassed in front of the Rock and the Miami crowd) Oh the Rock remembers! Oh yeah yeah, and then your dad calls me over, says, 'Here, this is my son!' I went to shake your hand, 'Hey man, how ya doin'?' (voiced as a child Randy) 'You don't! Don't! This is MY Pretty Pony! Don't touch my Pretty Pony!' You remember that? (Randy tries to say no) And then, and then- Shut your mouth! And then you just ran! You ran! You ran right by Andre the Giant, right by Junkyard Dog, smack dab, right in the middle of King Kong Bundy's ball sac! And I was laughin'! I was laughin'- (addresses an audience member) Hold on! We're not done! (To Orton) I was laughin' my ass off! And you were sittin' there and your dad was like, (Bob Orton Voice) 'Hey Dwayne, don't laugh! One day my son's going to be great.' (To Orton) I looked up at your dad and I said, 'Oh, no, Mr. Orton-' I called him 'Mr. Orton' 'cause I respect him, 'Mr. Orton, actually, one day, I'm gonna whup your son's candy ass!' - The Rock to Randy Orton in response to Orton interrupting The Rock's interaction with the Miami crowd.

90. 'It's time to drop the 'Sable Bomb' on ya!'

91. Well since Rock's baby left him... He found a new place to dwell... It's down at the end of Jabroni Drive at... Smackdown Hotellalalalalaaaa!

92. Kane, you think you impress the Rock when your music hits? All the lights go out. You got fire coming out of the post, fire shooting out of your ass, you got fire coming out of everywhere and then all of a sudden you're doing jumping jacks, you're happy, because Kane can talk. The big red retard can finally speak! Well, Kane, the Rock says this, he's in a giving mood tonight. You come on out here, the Rock got a little gift for you. He'll give you this microphone right here so you can talk in front of the millions *crowd finishes it* and millions of the Rock's fans, take your little voice gimmic, stick it to your throat and say this, (Doing an Impression of Kane) 'My name is Kane... and I am a roody poo candy ass!' And the Rock says this Kane, that little voice box you used to use, you left the Rock with one choice on what to do with it. The Rock says he'll take your little voice box, take all the batteries out, lube it up turn that sum bitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass!

93. They all want the Rock to raise the People's Eyebrow, they all want the Rock to drop the People's Elbow, layeth the smacketh down with the Rock Bottom, and they want to hear without a shadow of a doubt the most electrifying line in sports entertainment, period. And here it is... 'To BE the man, WHOOO, you've got to beat the man...' No, that's not it. That's not it, jabroni. This is it: 'OOOOhhhhh YEEEAAAahh DIG...' Ah, Dammit, that's not it either. This is it... 'Whatcha gonna do, when the TWENTY-FOUR INCH...' That's not it either. Here we go 'I am the best there is, the best there was....' No, no that's not it. That's damn sure as hell not it.(pause) This is it, The Most Electrifying line in Sports Entertainment, if ya SMELLLLLLLLALALALALALAOW what The Rock is cooking...

94. Buh-Buh Ray Dudley: 'You should know by now, that we are...the D-D-D-D--

95. Kane, you think you impress the Rock when your music hits? All the lights go out. You got fire coming out of the post, fire shooting out of your ass, you got fire coming out of everywhere and then all of a sudden you're doing jumping jacks, you're happy, because Kane can talk. The big red retard can finally speak! Well, Kane, the Rock says this, he's in a giving mood tonight. You come on out here, the Rock got a little gift for you. He'll give you this microphone right here so you can talk in front of the millions *crowd finishes it* and millions of the Rock's fans, take your little voice gimmic, stick it to your throat and say this, (Doing an Impression of Kane) 'My name is Kane... and I am a roody poo candy ass!' And the Rock says this Kane, that little voice box you used to use, you left the Rock with one choice on what to do with it. The Rock says he'll take your little voice box, take all the batteries out, lube it up turn that sum bitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass!

96. *The Rock puts his t-shirt over Michael Cole's face* You keep your head right there, jabroni! Don't move The Rock's electrifying t-shirt. The Rock says this. *turns to Michael Cole* The Rock said don't move your head! Undertaker, you talk about The Rock! You run your mouth about The Rock and like you've just unturned a stone. You've turned over a stone that's never been turned over before, on how The Rock writes checks that his ass can't cash because The Rock talks trash! Like all of a sudden, nobody knows The Rock talks trash! The Rock lives, breathes, talks trash all day long! *removes sunglasses* As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock... As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock talks trash in his sleep. Just like this... *closes eyes and says in sleepy voice* roody poo candy ah... layeth the smacketh down on your candy... know your role... *opens eyes and snaps out of sleepy mode* The fact of the matter is this, Undertaker... *puts sunglasses back on* ...Is that tonight, and you and Big Show, it doesn't matter who it is because whether it is here tonight, or whether it is at Unforgiven, every damn night of the week, if you shut your mouth, *points in another direction* you shut your mouth, this goof holding the camera shut his mouth, *points in another direction* this chick gawking at The Rock shut her mouth... *points at Mankind* You be quiet, *points at Michael Cole* you too! Shh, shh, shh! If you listen, all The Rock's fans are chanting his name. *Fan's chant 'Rocky! Rocky!'* *Mankind starts chanting 'Rocky!' with the crowd, and The Rock points at him to stop him* Eh-eh! *points at Michael Cole* Keep your head still, jabroni! The Rock says this, is that tonight, he's gonna do one thing and that is lay the smackdown on your ROO-DY POO *crowd finishes it by chanting 'CANDY ASS'* if you smell what The Rock is cookin'!

97. They all want the Rock to raise the People's Eyebrow, they all want the Rock to drop the People's Elbow, layeth the smacketh down with the Rock Bottom, and they want to hear without a shadow of a doubt the most electrifying line in sports entertainment, period. And here it is... 'To BE the man, WHOOO, you've got to beat the man...' No, that's not it. That's not it, jabroni. This is it: 'OOOOhhhhh YEEEAAAahh DIG...' Ah, Dammit, that's not it either. This is it... 'Whatcha gonna do, when the TWENTY-FOUR INCH...' That's not it either. Here we go 'I am the best there is, the best there was....' No, no that's not it. That's damn sure as hell not it.(pause) This is it, The Most Electrifying line in Sports Entertainment, if ya SMELLLLLLLLALALALALALAOW what The Rock is cooking...

98. Yo, listen! The Rock knows who you are! He knows who you are! 3rd generation wrestler! Yeah yeah! As a matter of fact, The Rock remembers very distinctly: Long time ago, remember meeting your daddy - 'Cowboy' Bob Orton, yeah, with the cast on his hand, I remember that! And I also remember some cat named 'Soulman' Rocky Johnson whuppin' your daddy's ass!! No, wait a minute, no, it keeps goin' back! Your granddaddy, Bob Orton, Senior! The Rock's granddaddy, 'High Chief' Peter Maivia layin' Samoan Smackdown on his monkey (says next word off-mic) ass! Oh even back, way back more than that! Your big fat ass grandmammy, your mammy, they all complained! Hell, The Rock's grandmama, his mama right there slapped the lips of all two them bitches! (Orton comments on how all the hometown fans can chant The Rock's name, but they know who 'The Man' is, referring to himself) I tell you what, the Rock even remembers you! I remember you! I remember you, how 'bout the gerbil? Do you remember the gerbil? Don't forget - (Orton comments on how they never knew each other as kids and doesn't remember the gerbil) Wait, wait, that's funny. We never knew each other as a kid? Well, let the Rock remind you. The Rock remembers in the locker room, your old man, sittin' there, callin' The Rock over: (changes to a pseudo-Bob Orton voice) 'Hey Dwayne! I want you to meet my son. There's Randy Orton!' (changes his voice back to normal) I remember that! I remember looking at you sittin' there picking your nose, wipin' it on your shirt. And of all things, of all things, you were sittin' in the locker room, sittin' in the locker room playin' with a My Lil' (trails off because he didn't want to say 'little') Pretty Pony! (Orton comments on how he never had with a Pretty Pony) You never had a Pretty Pony, you never had a Pretty Pony? (An exasperated Orton says it was his sister's, now is embarrassed in front of the Rock and the Miami crowd) Oh the Rock remembers! Oh yeah yeah, and then your dad calls me over, says, 'Here, this is my son!' I went to shake your hand, 'Hey man, how ya doin'?' (voiced as a child Randy) 'You don't! Don't! This is MY Pretty Pony! Don't touch my Pretty Pony!' You remember that? (Randy tries to say no) And then, and then- Shut your mouth! And then you just ran! You ran! You ran right by Andre the Giant, right by Junkyard Dog, smack dab, right in the middle of King Kong Bundy's ball sac! And I was laughin'! I was laughin'- (addresses an audience member) Hold on! We're not done! (To Orton) I was laughin' my ass off! And you were sittin' there and your dad was like, (Bob Orton Voice) 'Hey Dwayne, don't laugh! One day my son's going to be great.' (To Orton) I looked up at your dad and I said, 'Oh, no, Mr. Orton-' I called him 'Mr. Orton' 'cause I respect him, 'Mr. Orton, actually, one day, I'm gonna whup your son's candy ass!' - The Rock to Randy Orton in response to Orton interrupting The Rock's interaction with the Miami crowd.

99. More than anything else in that ECW dressing room, Tommy Dreamer, maybe more than anybody else in the wrestling industry, you are willing to pay the price: to sweat, to bleed, to suffer. You're willing to bare that cross and I said 'Tommy, don't do it.' Because, you see, in order to sacrifice and bare that cross for them, it means I've got to suffer too, and I'm telling you from the voice of experience that they're not worth it, Tommy. They're not worth it! You see, you've got the choice, not me. I've made my bed of nails, and I've got no other choice but to be powerbombed on it! But you see Tommy, the world is smiling at you, the wrestling business is smiling at you, and don't you frown back on it! I'm going to take you back to a very deciding point in my life--a time when I believed in something. A time when I thought that my face and my name made a difference. Do you remember the night, Tommy Dreamer, because it's embedded in my skull, it's embedded in my heart, and it's embedded in every nightmare that I will ever have. As Terry Funk took a broken bottle and began slicing and dicing Cactus Jack, the pain was so much that I'll be honest with you Tommy. The pain was so much that I wanted to say I quit, Terry Funk, I give, I wave the flag, and I'm a coward--just please don't hurt me anymore. Then I saw my saving grace. You see, Tommy, I looked out in that audience, my adoring crowd, and I saw two simple words that changed my life. 'Cane Dewey.' Somebody had taken the time and the effort and the thought to make a sign that said, 'Cane Dewey' and I saw other people around, as every moment in my life stopped and focused in on that sign and the pain that shot through my body became distant memory--replaced by the pain that will be embedded in my skull 'til my dying day! 'Cane Dewey.' 'Cane Dewey.' Dewey Foley is a three-year-old boy, you sick sons of bitches! You ripped out my heart, you ripped out my soul, you took everything I believed in and you flushed it down the damn toilet. You flushed my heart, you flushed my soul, and now it sickens me to sit back and see other people making the same mistake. You see, Tommy Dreamer I have to listen to my little boy say every day of my life 'Daddy, I miss Atlanta,' and I say, 'That's too bad son, because your dad traded in the Victorian house for a sweatbox on Long Island. Your Dad traded in a hundred-thousand dollar contract, guaranteed money, insurance, respect and the name on the dotted line of the greatest man in the world - to work for a scumbag who operates out of a little pissant pawn shop in Philadelphia.' You don't expect me to be bitter? Tommy, when you open your heart, when you open you soul, and it gets shit on, it tends to make Jack a very mean boy. and so, I say to you--before I take these aggressions out on you--to look at your future and realize that the hardcore life is a lie, that these letters behind me are a blatant lie, that those fans who sit there and say 'He's Hardcore He's Hardcore He's Hardcore', wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, you selfish son of a bitch! But, I want you to understand Tommy though he's hurt you time and time again, deep in his heart, Raven wants you to understand that the hatred I have in here is not for you. No, no--far removed. You see, Tommy, I'm not doing this because I hate you--I love you, man! I only want the best for you--but when I hear that WCW called up your number and you said, 'No thank you' -- well, it makes my blood run cold. As cold as that night in the ECW arena. And so I have got a moral obligation - you see Tommy, I'm on the path of the righteousness and righteous men wield a lot of power. So if I've got to drag you by your face to that telephone call and dial collect and say, 'Hello Eric, it's me, Cactus, and though I know I've burned my bridge, and I'll never be taken back with open arms--I've got a wrestler who would gladly trade in his ECW shirt for a pair of green suspenders.' And Tommy, just think of that sound in your ear when Eric says, 'Welcome home, Tommy Dreamer, welcome home.' I love being right.'

100. [Promo from July 17th 2006] Hello out there to all my fans right there in San Antonio, Texas! It's me Mick Foley in the WWE Studios and I know what a lot of you are thinking. You're thinking: Isn't that the shirt Mick wore when he was interviewed by Katie Couric on Halloween a few years ago? You're darn right it is, but I'm not here to talk about Katie Couric right now, or the beautiful Melina for that matter. I'm here to talk about the Nature Boy! Whooo! Ric Flair and comments he made about me. You see Ric was on the show last Monday actually bragging about beating me two straight falls in a two out of three falls match. You see Ric, I have a different take on things, you see I seem to remember you bludgeoned, bloody with your family in tears, which begs the question: Just what world do you inhabit Ric, where all those things can be construed as a positive!? How much worse could it have possibly have gotten!? Are you really under the impression I was trying to win the match? Because if I had been, I would have! The barbwired bat under the ring was no accident Ric. From the very get go I intended to leave you lay and that is exactly what I did. And you're out there saying Mick Foley posing a challenge, anywhere, anyplace any match of you're choosing. Well let me see... uh... I don't want to wrestle you anywhere, anyplace, in any type of match ever! What part of 'no rematch' do you not understand! Let me put it in the words of a famous song: A no, no, no, no, a no, no, no, no, a no, no, no, NO REMATCH RIC! YEAH!