Quote #1

It is truly an honor and a privilege for me to be here at Pinehurst School, or whatever your school is called today. I say it's a privilege, because its a violation of my parole to be around children. But enough about that! Hello little boys and little girls! Mmmmm Mmmm Mmmm!

More from Dave Chappelle

  1. Kids...you're lookin at a dead man. I should not be in front of you today. Drugs and alcohol have ruined my life.'...'Me and my friends wou…
  2. Tyrone: And kids, that was the first time I ever sucked a dick for crack , but not the last. Teacher: Thank you for that lovely and very gr…
  3. Look at that magic marker. What, you think that's some kind of crayon?! Take the cap off, sniff it, and get high!
  4. Let me show you how I go to the bathroom. (Proceeds to take a dump in the classroom rubbish bin).
  5. (Discussing the first time he used acid) Bugs Bunny and Scooby Doo and all my favourite cartoon heroes came to my room and ate cookies with…
  6. You! Do you know what dog food tastes like? Do ya? It tastes just like it smells...delicious!
  7. Ya'll tell anybody and I'll kill you!
  8. Red Balls! It gives me wiiings!

All Dave Chappelle quotes