Quote #45

'It was torture. Straight torture, son. First he put my nuts on a dresser. It was crazy, just my nuts. Then he banged 'em shits with a spiked bat like, 'Ba-OOOOWW!!' then they sewed my asshole shut and kept feeding me and feeding me and feeding me. This all took place in the slums of Shao-Lin. It was the RZA, the GZA, Ol' Dirty Bastard, Raekwon 'Da Chef', U-God, Inspectah Deck and, of course, Method Man.'

More from Dave Chappelle

  1. 'Will I still be able to traffic rocks to the community?'
  2. 'Go get me some juice, bitch, I'm Thirsty' (Talking to 'Chad' from 'Mad Real World'
  3. (Making fun of his new white roomate) 'What's the square root of this apartment!?! AHAHAHA!'
  4. Chad I slept with Katie too.
  5. Katie had some big ass TITTIES. (signature laugh)
  6. 'Yeah, man, America wants to see us live, not work. Look at me America, look how Tron is (To the tune of of Stevie Wonder's 'Livin' For The…
  7. Brace yo'self foo!
  8. 'Now you're looking at the world's richest man and I'm black. Kiss my black ass America! Hahaha!'

All Dave Chappelle quotes