39 Davey Havok Quotes on Humor

Davey Havok quotes on humor

3. Davey: I don't know, who would you want to tour with? Jade: Backstreet Boys, N*Sync... Davey: Britney Spears, maybe. Jade: LFO. Interviewer: Yeah. Only good bands. Davey: Yeah.

4. Interviewer: Tell me something about your fake eyelashes. Davey: Fake?! Interviewer: 'Well..I mean...uh..ok'. Davey: 'Here, feel' Interviewer: 'Oh..but..alright, seriously do you have a special person that applies those for you or do you do it by yourself?' Davey: 'I actually have a very special person, he's very dear to my heart, it's me. I spend most of my time with him, he's very hard to deal with'

5. [When asked what he would do if he were a woman for a day] Could I have sex with myself? Could there still be me and then a girl me?

6. Kerrang : What's the best way you've heard you died? Davey: A heroin overdose, here in London. That was the most real one because that made it all the way back to the United States and caused our booking agent there to call our booking agent here to make sure I was okay. They often kill me of cancer, which I really don't like. Then there was the one that Claudio from Coheed and Cambria tackled me and killed me. Adam: What were you doing!? Davey: Playing football I guess. And I died, which sucks.

8. Kerrang : Does God exist? Davey: I don't believe in God, but I do believe in Gosh. Adam: Yeah, Gosh, totally. He's like God only he's way more easy going.

12. No animals were harmed in the flattening of my hair.

14. Geoff: Yeah, I run Key Lime Pie Records. So, unless people give me money, I pay for everything myself and I get nothing in return!! Davey: You get a kiss every once in a while. Geoff: Not from you!!! Davey: I try.

15. Maybe we'll win another VMA if I die, like for sure.

17. I can type like the wind, and believe me, the wind types really fast!

20. You put a little black box up his butt?! A box?! Couldn't you have found a carrot or something?

25. Interviewer: I don't want to be rude but you guys are a bunch of weirdo freaks. Do the locals abuse you in the street in Ukiah? Davey: The time I went back before last I got whistled at by some hicks in a truck. I was flattered but I'm not sure they were really interested.

31. Yes I'm a lot prettier than you and you're a girl...I noticed. Pfft, do you believe this? This girl is mad at me cause I'm prettier than her and she's a girl. Don't worry honey, nobody noticed.

34. Random: Ha, the monster was funny. Davey: Hey, that's mean. I hope you get a monster.

37. I look like an inflatable fuckdoll.

45. Random: Why are you guys so awesome? Davey: Fuzzy creatures

49. I eventually became the king ruler of the pear-packing plant.

50. Random: Davey, you look sexy. Davey: Davey always looks sexy. [cocky smile]

53. The Lord has a mysterious fashion sense.

56. How many times will Davey put a disc into his CD player before realizing it's a DVD?

57. It wasn't supposed to be pink vinyl; it's supposed to be peppermint vinyl, so it's supposed to look like one of those peppermint candies with the red and white swirlies. They fucked it up so it's pink. What's the name of that pressing plant? Well, whatever it is... don't use it! You'll be on Frilly Pink and you'll be forced to buy flowers from Adama's Flower Shop.

58. Can I have a bite of your hamburger? Just don't tell the vegans...

60. Interviewer: Hey Jade, are the rest of the guys jealous that the entire 'Girl's Not Grey'video occurs in your crotch? Jade: Hey Dave, are you jealous that 'Girl's Not Grey' takes place in my crotch? Davey: No, because I'm going to take place in your crotch. Jade: You know, I never stopped to think that the majority of our video does indeed take place in my crotch. I must contemplate the significance of this.

66. Random: Davey, I wanna have your kids!! Davey: Well...I'll be sure to call ya.

67. Random: Davey is the new Jesus!! Davey: Umm, I think it's the hair. Is it the hair?

68. A girl in Salt Lake once asked me 'Why are you wearing makeup? Are you a fag?' I then said 'Well, if I'm a fag for wearing makeup, you must be a dyke in blue jeans'. I also informed her that she was just angry because I was prettier than she was.

76. Adam: I'd prefer 'fuck and smash the state', because when you put the two together, you get crazy violent sex. Davey: Adam likes violent sex. All you bondage babes out there, the drummer with the hair likes rough sex.

77. I kan nawt spel gud.... doesn't it suck that I can't spell?

82. RP: You have the only job in the world where people line up to hug you. Davey: Well, me and the Pope. RP: Are you crazy? You can't hug the pope. He's inside the bubble. Davey: Are you sure you can't hug the Pope? Hey, everyone, does anyone know if you're allowed to hug the Pope?

84. Oh, please! I wish I had her body! [when called a Madonna impersonator]

86. Jim Shearer: We know football fans are crazy. How would we compare them to AFI fans? Davey: I think the level of craziness is pretty close. Different, via the AFI crazy fans are typically a bit more frail than the football fans. Jim Shearer: Oh wow. Were you the center? Davey: Um, I'm the center. Of everything! Jim Shearer: Oh, I would imagine you would be the quarterback. Davey: Is that what the quarterback does? I'M A QUARTERBACK.

90. Random: Davey will you marry me?! Davey: Uh, maybe...

94. Random Crowd Member: I LOVE YOU DAVEY! Davey: [stops singing in the middle of the song and smiles] Someone wants to fuck me. [continues song]

97. Interviewer: If the four of you were stranded on a desert island and you had to resort to cannibalism, who would you eat first? Davey: Can I eat like nuts and berries and stuff? Interviewer: It's a desert island, there aren't any nuts or berries. Davey: Oh so it's like sand or people.So basically you want me to eat one of my band mates. And you just expect me to answer that question? Interviewer: Well that or one of their parts, yeah. Davey: Probably Adam. Interviewer: Why Adam? Davey: Well he's a drummer, so he's all lean, if you like lean meat. Adam: Tender! Interviewer: Well you wouldn't wanna get fat on a desert island. Davey: Right. Adam: I'm the other white meat!

101. Interviewer: Were any of you guys in Boy Scouts or something? Adam: I was a Weeblo. Jade: We all blow. Davey: I BLOW! Jade: Davey is quite a 'demon in the sack' so to speak.

104. Interviewer: If you were a Magic-8-Ball what would you say? Davey: Im good with non-commitals, That's all relative, Depends on the circumstance, Im sorry I'm sleepy, Not now... I haven't put my face on.

107. [Smith Puget is wearing odd sunglasses] Davey: I think I saw the Olsen Twins wearing those. *both pause* ...I'm not kidding.

108. I got no shoes and I can't even imagine why somebody was trying to take my sock. - in Memphis

110. Interviewer: On the cover of 'Decemberunderground' there are three rabbits. Do you like rabbits because they run so fast, or because they have sex all the time? Davey: um, It's because they're furry. Hunter: I like them because they run so fast. They just run SO fast. Davey: Yeah, they do go fast don't they? Ok I would like to change it to because they run so fast.

113. This Humidity is doing murder to my hair! (Introducing 'Miss Murder')