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It seems to me like this. It's not a terrible thing - I mean, it may be terrible, but it's not damaging, it's not poisoning, to do without something one really wants. It's not bad to say: My work is not what I really want, I'm capable of doing something bigger. Or I'm a person who needs love, and I'm doing without it. What's terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is the first-rate. To pretend that you don't need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well you're capable of better.

Doris Lessing#36

TruthCompromiseDesireSelf knowledge

About this quote

What does it mean?
It is acceptable to forego wants, but not to lie about them.
In plain terms
Don't pretend you don't need what you actually want.
What can you take from it?
Be honest about your true needs.

Where it applies

  • career choices
  • relationships

Putting it to work

  • identify your true desires

Questions to consider

  • What do you pretend you do not need?

Another view

Sometimes pretending is a survival mechanism.

More from Doris Lessing

  1. We spend our lives fighting to get people very slightly more stupid than ourselves to accept truths that the great men have always known. They have known for t…

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  2. It isn't only the terror everywhere, and the fear of being conscious of it, that freezes people. It's more than that. People know they are in a society dead or…

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  3. What is so painful about that time is that nothing was disastrous. It was all wrong, ugly, unhappy and coloured with cynicism, but nothing was tragic, there we…

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