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Emo Philips
Quote #13
I ran three miles today... finally I said, 'Lady, take your purse.'
More from Emo Philips
Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil. Other than that, though, it's…
People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'
You know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi!
The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said, 'If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been p…
You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
Well, my brother says 'hello'! So, hooray for speech therapy.
When I was ten, my family moved to Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
Ambiguity - the Devil's volleyball.
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