Selected confusion quotes

1. I am bewildered by the death of love. And my responsibility for it.

2. I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?

3. I always like to know what I'm doing, but there are times when nobody will tell me.

4. Why does merely attempting to understand Reality so often seem to lead to going insane?

5. Few people know so clearly what they want. Most people can't even think what to hope for when they throw a penny in a fountain.

6. Jarndyce and Jarndyce drones on. This scarecrow of a suit, has, in course of time, become so complicated that no man alive knows what it means. The parties to it understand it least; but it has been observed that no two Chancery lawyers can talk about it for five minutes, without coming to total disagreement as to all the premises.

7. You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.

8. Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.

9. Before I came here I was confused about this subject. Having listened to your lecture I am still confused. But on a higher level.

10. The right understanding of any matter and a misunderstanding of the same matter do not wholly exclude each other.

11. Willingness to change is a strength, even if it means plunging part of the company into total confusion for a while.

12. O woman, perfect woman! what distraction Was meant to mankind when thou wast made a devil!

13. Ah, love, let us be true To one another! for the world, which seems To lie before us like a land of dreams, So various, so beautiful, so new, Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light, Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain; And we are here as on a darkling plain Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight, Where ignorant armies clash by night.

14. This emotion I'm feeling now, this is love, right?

15. I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

16. I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

17. Having lost sight of our objectives, we redoubled our efforts.

18. I remember discussions with Bohr which went through many hours till very late at night an ended almost in despair; and when at the end of the discussion I went alone for a walk in the neighbouring park I repeated to myself again and again the question: Can nature possibly be so absurd as it seemed to us in these atomic experiments?

19. We have arrived at an intellectual chaos.

20. Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is.

21. Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

22. On the one hand, the Republicans are telling industrial workers that the high cost of food in the cities is due to this government's farm policy. On the other hand, the Republicans are telling the farmers that the high cost of manufactured goods on the farm is due to this government's labor policy. That's plain hokum. It's an old political trick: 'If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.' But this time it won't work.

23. I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.

24. An illusion of depth often occurs if a blockhead is a muddlehead at the same time.

25. People in this world look at things mistakenly, and think that what they do not understand must be the void. This is not the true void. It is bewilderment.

26. I am blind, but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as broil. I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again.

27. I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice- I don't know if I'm coming or going.

28. How will I ever get out of this labyrinth?

29. I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went 'Aaaaahhhh...'

30. I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. 'We're surrounded.'

31. I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage?' 'It's not for sale.'

32. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

33. Invention flags, his brain goes muddy, And black despair succeeds brown study.

34. Confusion hath fuck his masterpiece.

35. I couldn't tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on its head.

36. We have fish and chips, which W. and I fetch from the shop in Settle market-place. Some local boys come in and there is a bit of chat between them and the fish-fryer about whether the kestrel under the counter is for sale. W. takes no notice of this, to me, slightly surprising conversation:Only when I mention it to W. does he explain Kestrel is now a lager. I imagine the future is going to contain an increasing number of incidents like this, culminating with a man in a white coat saying to one kindly, 'And now can you tell me the name of the Prime Minister?'

37. I'm quite a compulsive person - I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

38. The power of discretionary disqualification by one law of Parliament, and the necessity of paying every debt of the Civil List by another law of Parliament, if suffered to pass unnoticed, must establish such a fund of rewards and terrors as will make Parliament the best appendage and support of arbitrary power that ever was invented by the wit of man. This is felt. The quarrel is begun between the Representatives and the People. The Court Faction have at length committed them. In such a strait the wisest may well be perplexed, and the boldest staggered. The circumstances are in a great measure new. We have hardly any land-marks from the wisdom of our ancestors, to guide us. At best we can only follow the spirit of their proceeding in other cases.

39. Anyone who isn't confused doesn't really understand the situation.

40. Faced with the nonsense question 'What is the meaning of a word?' and perhaps dimly recognizing it to be nonsense, we are nevertheless not inclined to give it up. --Austin, Papers 58.

41. Some of the bombs were little yellow bombs, and some of the little food packages were little yellow packages. Now you're playing survivor the real game. 'Um, Bob I was here yesterday, um, I going to go with this one today.'

42. I'll never forget the time I tried Cocaine. Horrible experience. Of course, I was on Acid at the time... (Monologue from his Saturday Night Live appearance)

43. 'I feel that physical beauty connects to the depths of our animalistic selves, and I don't know whether that's good or bad or what. but it's very confusing.'

44. Can you imagine some poor welfare recipient in Arizona doesn't know what's up, doesn't know why the check's not as big, doesn't know why the food stamps don't stick to whatever he tries to mail?

45. 'Great-grandfather died under strange circumstances. He opened a vein in his bath.' 'I never knew baths had veins,' protested Gabrilowitsch.' 'I never knew his great-grandfather had a ba-' began Falcovsky derisively.

46. I felt ill at ease with all this air about me, lost before the confusion of innumerable prospects.

47. Poor juvenile solutions, explaining nothing. No need then for caution, we may reason on to our heart's content, the fog won't lift.

48. At no moment do I know what I'm talking about, nor of whom, nor of where, nor how, nor why, but I could employ fifty wretches for this sinister operation and still be short of the fifty-first, to close the circuit, that I know, without knowing what it means.

49. I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, 'Steven, time to go to sleep.' I said, 'But I don't know how.' She said, 'It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a right.' So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a left. My mother was there, and she said 'I thought I told you to go to sleep.'

50. Little miss queen of hearts you're a strange thing. Why you wanna stay so vague? I'm wandering through this mess you've made to see what I can save.

51. One more night, God I've had to fight to keep my line of sight on what's real. One more day, I fear I've lost my way, I don't know how to say what I feel.

52. It's hard to say who you are these days but you run on anyway, don't you baby?

53. 'Yo yo yo, what hell is this?'

54. Nous cherchons tous le bonheur, mais sans savoir ou, comme les ivrognes qui cherchent leur maison, sachant confusement qu'ils en ont une.

55. What rascal has been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice?

56. Canaris hated not only Hitler and Himmler, but the entire Nazi system as a political phenomenon .. He was everywhere and nowhere at once. Everywhere he traveled, at home and abroad and to the front, he always left a whirl of confusion behind him .. In reality this small, frail, and somewhat timid man was a vibrating bundle of nerves. Extremely well read, oversensitive, Canaris was an outsider in every respect. In bearing and manner of work he was the most unmilitary of persons.

57. Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.

58. I thought we were in the the trust tree, in the nest. Are we not?

59. Apparently, as in so many ancient battles, the beaten side were the victims of misunderstanding and the fate of the day was decided against them before the bulk of the forces realised that a serious engagement had begun. Reserves descended from the hills too late to achieve victory, but in good time to be massacred in the rout.

60. Can we actually 'know' the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown.

61. Death is a state of non-being. That which is not, does not exist. Therefore death does not exist. Only truth exists. Truth and beauty. Each is interchangeable, but are aspects of themselves. Er, what specifically did they say they had in mind for me?

62. I think they just got through marinating the greens.

63. The multitude of formulas (for living the Christian life with success) proposed byt Christian writers, preacher, conference speakers, and televangelists simply confuse me. The have different ideas about how it is done, offering promises of fulfillment and joy based on three easy steps, four points of action, or the five smooth stones that David threw.

64. 'I wanted to move my penis around to the back side of my ass, because I don't know which way I'm swinging just yet. But I'd like to keep it just in case.' (from 'Breast Enlargement')

65. 'Listen, he carved out a hole in the middle of the floor and he's building you a volcano. That's all I know. And you're supposed to come down with your flowers and make sacrificial offerings. And he's supposed to throw you into the volcano. This is all I understand.' (from 'Flower Lady #2)

66. '(talking to a man in Florida, New York) Shit, I didn't know New York had a Florida. That doesn't sound right. I don't think you know geography very well, you're being silly.' (from 'Florida, the Tropical State')

67. Whilst the misguided Follower climbs with Pain, Mountains of Whimsies, heapt in his own Brain, Stumbling from Thought to Thought, falls headlong down Into Doubt's boundless Sea, where like to drown, Books bear him up a-while, and make him try To swim with Bladders of Philosophy.

68. What the hell kind of bed you giving us, anyways. We don't want no pants rabbits. Ch. 2, p.20

69. Utter confusion/ Live on in your illusion/ That won't wear out

70. what in hell have i done to deserve all these kittens

71. It would not do if both of us became addled, and later woke up in doubt as to who was who. - Shimrod

72. 'Mock......ing.....bird.....yeah.' (Dumb and Dumber)

73. people see me I'm a challenge to your balance I'm over your heads how I confound you and astound you

74. take a look at my body look at my hands there's so much here that I don't understand

75. I love the things that you've given me I cherish you my dear country But sometimes I don't understand the way we play

76. Am I a sacred calf, and you a pagan to dance around me? I'm no pagan, papa. I'm just : exuberant I should have never taught Zeforah to read, if she's going to teach you words that the village boys don't understand

77. 'Coffee's good for you, coffee's bad for you...' {followed by the latest conflicting medical or science announcement}

78. Cause oh they sweat a brother majorly/And I don't know why, your girl keeps paging me

79. And this time I forget to slip into your slumber The light is on the left side of your head And I'm standing in your doorway And I'm mumbling and I can't remember the last thing that ran through my head

80. This is highly irregular-- I thought I was talking to a frozen embryo.

81. What in the hell are you talkin about?

82. What is this, Vassar?!

83. How does he do that?

84. Man for the field and woman for the hearth: Man for the sword and for the needle she: Man with the head and woman with the heart: Man to command and woman to obey; All else confusion.

85. West of the Rockies, don't bother. East of the Rockies... okay. South of the Rockies, north of the Rockies... under the Rockies...... whatever.

86. For those of you calling from Madagascar or Bakersfield, that number again 1-800-520-1534 that number once again 1-213-427-7266 that number once again 1-213-427...7...uh...uh...3...I forget...

87. I don't understand.

88. What's THAT all about?

89. That's one thing about travelling, man: You stay in hotels all the time. Anybody here stay in hotels on a regular basis? Can you help me with something - does 'Do Not Disturb' mean 'Knock Immediately' in Spanish?

90. Do you guys consider yourselves to live in the country? [audience reaction]... I heard half 'yes'es and have 'no's, so I guess you're confused.

91. The major five religions being Christianity, Judaism, Islam, RCA, Sony, Buddhism and Hinduism. Because apart from the two silly ones, they've all got Jesus in them. I'm not telling you about the two silly ones. ('RCA, they're in the Middle East, aren't they?') Cost if you can't work out what they are, you're probably the person in the plane who watches when they do the belt bit.

92. I ran three miles today... finally I said, 'Lady, take your purse.'

93. Ambiguity - the Devil's volleyball.

94. Life is a thread that someone entangled.

95. I don't know how you were diverted You were perverted too. I don't know how you were inverted No one alerted you.

96. Laws are generally not understood by three sorts of persons, viz, by those who make them, by those who execute them, and by those who suffer if they break them.

97. The effort really to see and really to represent is no idle business in face of the constant force that makes for muddlement. The great thing is indeed that the muddled state too is one of the very sharpest of the realities, that it also has color and form and character, has often in fact a broad and rich comicality.

98. Jack: I can't understand it. On your show you always win.

99. Jack: Hey, wait a minute. What kind of make up is this?

100. Jack: I know, but peanut butter?