Quote #12

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil. Other than that, though, it's been a good day.

More from Emo Philips

  1. You know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi!
  2. I ran three miles today... finally I said, 'Lady, take your purse.'
  3. You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
  4. People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'
  5. When I was ten, my family moved to Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
  6. The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said, 'If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been p…
  7. When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I j…
  8. Well, my brother says 'hello'! So, hooray for speech therapy.

All Emo Philips quotes