My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what she's reading.

I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.

I love going to the park, watching the kids running around, yelling...they don't know I'm using blanks!

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.

Sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered - and still do - which is the more important.

I can't buy her diamonds, my dick's too small. I never know where I stand with her. It's either a black eye or a love bite.

Last night I was making love to my wife and nothing was happening, so I said to her, What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?