My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

There was no need to do any housework at all. After four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

There has to be a woman, but not much of a one. A good horse is much more important.

Housekeeping ain't no joke.