Mickey Mouse's birthday being announced on the television news as if it's an actual event. I don't give a shit! If I cared about Mickey Mouse's birthday I'd have memorized it years ago. And I'd send him a card: 'Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday. Love, George.' But I don't. Why? I don't give a shit. Fuck Mickey Mouse! Fuck him in the asshole with a big rubber dick! And then break it off and beat him with the rest of it! I hope Mickey dies! I do - I hope he goddamn dies! I hope he gets a hold of some tainted cheese, and dies lonely and forgotten in the soiled baseport of a poor neighborhood, with his hand in Goofy's pants. No wonder no one takes this country seriously anymore - we waste valuable time informing our citizens of the age of an imaginary rodent!
About this quote
- What does it mean?
- A long rant criticizing the media for treating trivial news with the same importance as serious events.
- In plain terms
- News outlets waste time on fake stories.
- What can you take from it?
- Media prioritizes celebrity over substance.
Where it applies
Putting it to work
Questions to consider
- What is news?
- Why do we care about celebrities?
Another view
Lighter news can serve as stress relief.
More from George Carlin
Honk if your horn is broken.
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