Quote #190
Why do people say 'I'm going to take a shit'? : They don't take a shit, they leave one.
More from George Carlin
- When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.
- God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
- One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
- If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party. (Napalm and Silly Putty)
- I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
- If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
- Wanna help your kids? Leave them the fuck alone!!!
- 69 : 71, which is 69 with two fingers up your ass : 68, which is 'You do me an' I'll owe you one.' Women hear that one all the time!