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George Carlin
Quote #191
God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
More from George Carlin
Why do people say 'I'm going to take a shit'? : They don't take a shit, they leave one.
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party. (Napalm and Silly Putty)
When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.
If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
69 : 71, which is 69 with two fingers up your ass : 68, which is 'You do me an' I'll owe you one.' Women hear that one all the time!
I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.
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