Quote #4

Mr. Grover [Doing an informal job interview]: What experience have you had at a department store? Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho): I was a shoplifter for three years.

More from Groucho Marx

  1. A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
  2. A likely story - and probably true.
  3. If I held you any closer I'd be in back of you.
  4. Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
  5. When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay!
  6. I sent the club a wire stating, 'PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMB…
  7. [Variant:] 'Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member'.
  8. No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

All Groucho Marx quotes