Baravelli, you've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived.

I assume he was descended from apes like all the rest of us, but clearly in his case it had been a fairly gentle slope.

Men don't get smarter when they grow older. They just lose their hair.

'Well, you know what they say about John, anyway?' 'Well, no I don't. Wh- what do they say?' 'Well, you know, apparently he's, uh, he's, you know, he's [cocks …