Selected mockery quotes

1. Look at The Rock's competition! Look at him! It looks like a big monkey came down here, took a crap, and out came Mankind!

2. The monster London laugh at me.

3. The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

4. All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land.

5. No great movement designed to change the world can bear to be laughed at or belittled. Mockery is a rust that corrodes all it touches.

6. Those who have everything but thee, my God, laugh at those who have nothing but thyself.

7. There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

8. He loves to sit and hear me sing, Then, laughing, sports and plays with me; Then stretches out my golden wing, And mocks my loss of liberty.

9. 'Whatever you laugh at in others, laughs at yourself.'

10. On our way home we were waiting for the bus when a very fat, pompous-looking woman reeled out of a pub shouting, 'Melancholia? Ad nauseam.'

11. 'This emotion I'm feeling now, this is love, right?' 'I don't know. Is it a longing? Is it a giddy stupid happiness just because you're with me?' 'Yes,' she said. 'That's influenza,' said Miro. 'Watch for nausea or diarrhea within a few hours.'

12. This guy Pat Robertson obviously wants to be a prophet so bad. I wonder if he walks around at home dressed up in a bed sheet, talking Aramaic, maybe parting the waters in the bathtub occasionally, just to keep in practice?

13. He is the very pineapple of politeness!

14. Come let us mock at the good That fancied goodness might be gay, And sick of solitude Might proclaim a holiday: Wind shrieked- and where are they?

15. The most painful thing to bear is seeing a mockery made of what one loves.

16. The only place Al Gore conserves energy these days is on the treadmill. I don't want to suggest that Al's getting big, but the last time I saw him on TV I thought, 'That reminds me - we have to do something about saving the polar bears.'

17. What is more, let anyone laugh and taunt if he so wishes. I am not keeping silent, nor am I hiding the signs and wonders that were shown to me by the Lord many years before they happened, [he] who knew everything, even before the beginning of time.

18. Come let us mock at the great That had such burdens on the mind And toiled so hard and late To leave some monument behind, Nor thought of the levelling wind.

19. resident mockery give us an hour for magic

20. Have you been watching American Idol? They have Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul judging the singing. Paula Abdul?! Getting Paula Abdul to judge a singing contest is like getting Christopher Reeve to judge a dance contest!

21. An atheist-laugh's a poor exchange For Deity offended.

22. What are you laughing at? You are laughing at yourselves!

23. Never mind his carbon footprint - have you seen the size of Al Gore's regular footprint lately? It's almost as deep as Janet Reno's

24. So whether it's you Chris Jericho, Chris Jericho's Daddy, Chris Jericho's MaMa, Uncle Joe Jericho with the glass eye or maybe it's Grandpa Jimmy Jack Jericho with the iron lung, or hell, it might be even Grandma Jessebelle Jericho with the XX30 panties!

25. 'And you walk down the Rock's ramp and you step over the top rope, like that's supposed to impress somebody! And then, Big Show, you do something that is, without the shadow of a doubt, the most impressive thing the Rock's seen, and that's this-- (lifts hand in the air, Big Show-style and moans) huuuaaaagh!'

26. 'Do you remember how, all year long, the only thing Rock wanted to do in your class was make pancakes?' 'You still like to cook? Still like to bake bread? And you know your rolls, right?' 'The Rock says this. You should know your role, and shut your mouth; take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-having ass directly into the Smackdown Hotel!'

27. Just so The Rock understands this, you're the WCW Champion Sucker?

28. The Rock could just imagine what you were like in High School! The oldest 27 year old senior the world has ever seen! Standing outside your house with your momma, and that short little yellow bus pulling up in front - beep beep, beep beep, beep beep! You just walk in on the bus, go into class, get inside the classroom, teacher up on the blackboard 'Ok class, what is 2 + 2? Do you know Booker?' 'Oh yeah I know the answer to that, 2 + 2? Thomas Jefferson, sucka!'

29. On this night 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself came something so horrifying it sends chills up and down the bodies of men all over the world: tonight marks the birth of Stephanie McMahon.

30. Eddie Guerrero, you want a shot at the Great One but there's only one problem. It's you never told him whether you you were Cheech or were you Chong! Y arriba y arriba ! Oh yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, The Rock ain't done! The Rock's got some more and it goes like this. Guerrero and The Rock in this ring will meet and when it's all over The Rock whooping ass on Latino Heat! Y arriba y arriba !

31. The Rock knows exactly who you are! There's a green shirt, H on your chest, green mask ... oh you're the Hamburglar!

32. Where's Snow White and the rest of the Seven Dwarves? Sumbitches... Is this the best you got, Eric Bischoff? Sending The Rock out with a bunch of Oompa Loompas? (referring to CSC Event Staff escorting The Rock from the building. They are all smaller than him and with beer bellies.)

33. (Addressing Billy Gunn) The night you won King of the Ring, you got down on your kness, and you said a prayer and it sounded like this: (whiny voice as Billy Gunn) 'Oh dear God, you see, my name's Billy, and I just won King of the Ring. But there's one problem. Everybody still thinks (in more strident tones)THAT I ABSOLUTELY SUCK!' And then Billy, the clouds parted, the Heavens opened, and God Himself spoke to you and said this: 'BOB,' 'But my name's Billy.' 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! BOB, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT; YOU DO SUCK!'

34. 'Do you remember how, all year long, the only thing Rock wanted to do in your class was make pancakes?' 'You still like to cook? Still like to bake bread? And you know your rolls, right?' 'The Rock says this. You should know your role, and shut your mouth; take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-having ass directly into the Smackdown Hotel!'

35. Stormtrooper Mel (Mel Brooks): 'Don't be stupid, be a smarty / Come and join the Nazi Party!'

36. Then old Nobodaddy aloft Farted and belched and coughed, And said, 'I love hanging and drawing and quartering Every bit as well as war and slaughtering.'

37. If Gore had been elected president, right now he would just be finding that last lesbian quadriplegic for the Special Forces team.

38. I assume he was descended from apes like all the rest of us, but clearly in his case it had been a fairly gentle slope.

39. (Making fun of his new white roomate) 'What's the square root of this apartment!?! AHAHAHA!'

40. Leonard Washington : G-G-G-G-G-G-Goodbye! If you need money, sell rocks. I heard that's what they do out here. Say hi to your people for me and if they ask about Leonard Washington tell them I got my ass out of here!

41. Here, liberal liberal liberal!

42. I can't see the sense in it really. It makes me a Commander of the British Empire. They might as well make me a Commander of Milton Keynes - at least that exists.

43. Well let them take you for a clown And they're bound to bring you down. You got to make it through the world if you can. Think they're doing you wrong But you got here on your own. You got to make it through the world if you can.

44. 'Ha-HA-HAAAAA!' (Often when either Bret Hart hands out his shades, or following a Doink 'joke')

45. 'Welcome to Smackdown-Is-Stephanie!'

46. Write a number, any number and you win, it could be a one, a two, a three, or how about a four, any number.. And you wrote a v, well my friend, v is a roman numeral so despite your best efforts you managed to win, and lets see what you wagered. 'Suck it Trebek'

47. Man that Kendall Beye is so awesome, he is better looking then elephants rear-end!

48. [to Girard] I've got you, Pepe Le Bitch!

49. 'Aren't you going to swim?' Piggy shook his head. 'I can't swim. I wasn't allowed. My asthma-' 'Sucks to your ass-mar!'

50. 'You want a pig,' said Roger, 'like in a real hunt.' 'Or someone to pretend,' said Jack. 'You could get someone to dress up as a pig and then he could act - you know, pretend to knock me over and all that -' 'You want a real pig,' said Robert, still caressing his rump, 'because you've got to kill him.' 'Use a littlun,' said Jack, and everybody laughed.

51. '(talking to a man in Florida, New York) Shit, I didn't know New York had a Florida. That doesn't sound right. I don't think you know geography very well, you're being silly.' (from 'Florida, the Tropical State')

52. You know, Brock Lesnar, you wanna play games with The Rock? Ya think you wanna play mind games, is that what you wanna do? You think you're real smart, Brock Lesnar, why, because you came down here and you brought yourself a front row ticket? You and that big fat walrus so he could cheer you on? But you see, you're real smart, Brock, 'cause you do have a front row ticket, but you've also got another ticket, and that's to a big brahma bull ass whoopin', not yesterday, no no no no no, no no, no no no no no no, no, the ass whoopin' is not yesterday, it's not tomorrow, the brahma bull ass whoopin' is toinght! - promo on Brock Lesnar on the August 12, edition of Raw in Seattle

53. Kane, you think you impress the Rock when your music hits? All the lights go out. You got fire coming out of the post, fire shooting out of your ass, you got fire coming out of everywhere and then all of a sudden you're doing jumping jacks, you're happy, because Kane can talk. The big red retard can finally speak! Well, Kane, the Rock says this, he's in a giving mood tonight. You come on out here, the Rock got a little gift for you. He'll give you this microphone right here so you can talk in front of the millions *crowd finishes it* and millions of the Rock's fans, take your little voice gimmic, stick it to your throat and say this, (Doing an Impression of Kane) 'My name is Kane... and I am a roody poo candy ass!' And the Rock says this Kane, that little voice box you used to use, you left the Rock with one choice on what to do with it. The Rock says he'll take your little voice box, take all the batteries out, lube it up turn that sum bitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass!

54. Of all the Griefs that harrass the Distrest, Sure the most bitter is a scornful Jest

55. Well since Rock's baby left him... He found a new place to dwell... It's down at the end of Jabroni Drive at... Smackdown Hotellalalalalaaaa!

56. Dango, Pume, Thwither: down with Visbhume's breeches; let him hold his backside at the ready. - King Throbius

57. Little John Blinkin, fix your boobs, you look like a bleeding picasso

58. All-knowing, all-caring, all-sensing, all-feeling, Maha-Rushie

59. Living proof that a pig's bladder on the end of a stick can be elected to Parliament

60. Don't f**k with me Nigga you're barely livin, don't you got sickle cell?/See me have a seizure on stage, you ain't feelin well, hell

61. niggas think they learned to fly/But they burn mutha-fucka you deserve to die/Talking about you Getting Money/But its funny to me

62. *The Rock puts his t-shirt over Michael Cole's face* You keep your head right there, jabroni! Don't move The Rock's electrifying t-shirt. The Rock says this. *turns to Michael Cole* The Rock said don't move your head! Undertaker, you talk about The Rock! You run your mouth about The Rock and like you've just unturned a stone. You've turned over a stone that's never been turned over before, on how The Rock writes checks that his ass can't cash because The Rock talks trash! Like all of a sudden, nobody knows The Rock talks trash! The Rock lives, breathes, talks trash all day long! *removes sunglasses* As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock... As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock talks trash in his sleep. Just like this... *closes eyes and says in sleepy voice* roody poo candy ah... layeth the smacketh down on your candy... know your role... *opens eyes and snaps out of sleepy mode* The fact of the matter is this, Undertaker... *puts sunglasses back on* ...Is that tonight, and you and Big Show, it doesn't matter who it is because whether it is here tonight, or whether it is at Unforgiven, every damn night of the week, if you shut your mouth, *points in another direction* you shut your mouth, this goof holding the camera shut his mouth, *points in another direction* this chick gawking at The Rock shut her mouth... *points at Mankind* You be quiet, *points at Michael Cole* you too! Shh, shh, shh! If you listen, all The Rock's fans are chanting his name. *Fan's chant 'Rocky! Rocky!'* *Mankind starts chanting 'Rocky!' with the crowd, and The Rock points at him to stop him* Eh-eh! *points at Michael Cole* Keep your head still, jabroni! The Rock says this, is that tonight, he's gonna do one thing and that is lay the smackdown on your ROO-DY POO *crowd finishes it by chanting 'CANDY ASS'* if you smell what The Rock is cookin'!

63. Living proof that a pig's bladder on the end of a stick can be elected to Parliament

64. You take a kid that has Playstation 2, a RAZR scooter, DVD players, his own computer...what a candyass.

65. 'You know, they should make a wax statue of you and put you next to Carrol Channing at the Wax Museum' -Bud Dickman (Talking to Phil, Dec 15, 2004 Hour 3)

66. Oh, you're sitting there staring at your cheaply manicured nails in your Ford Taurus...

67. Phil, her husband is a bit of a loser. (drops her voice) Can I tell you something? Her husband is black. They have a child together, this child has black skin and flaming red hair, like Bozo the Clown. He scares people, he frightens the other children.

68. Bravo, Streicher!

69. 'Suprise, surprise!'

70. Roody-poo candy ass

71. Jabroni!

72. Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

73. National character is only another name for the particular form which the littleness, perversity and baseness of mankind take in every country. Every nation mocks at other nations, and all are right.

74. 'You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. 'I believe God created me in one day.' Yeah, it looks like he rushed it.'

75. 'We're pro-life.' Eww, you look it! You look like you're filled with life.

76. The devil...the prowde spirit...cannot endure to be mocked.

77. And there was that wholesale libel on a Yale prom. If all the girls attending it were laid end to end, Mrs Parker said, she wouldn't be at all surprised.

78. 'Why are we drinking Zima? It's beyond irony. It's not funny or anything. It's just gross. Why not just serve us jugs of Hitler's piss instead?'

79. On a visit to the new National Assembly for Wales in Cardiff, he told a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band, 'Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf.'[3][1]

80. 'What have you been reading, The Gospel according to St. Bastard?!'

81. You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

82. Baravelli, you've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

83. If I have sometimes seemed to make fun of Woman, I assure you it has only been for the purpose of egging her on.

84. One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.

85. The world laughs at another man's pain.

86. I was given five injections. That evening I developed extremely high fever. I was trembling. My arms and my legs were swollen, huge size. Mengele and Dr. Konig and three other doctors came in the next morning. They looked at my fever chart, and Dr. Mengele said, laughingly, 'Too bad, she is so young. She has only two weeks to live...'

87. '[The Indian princes'] ceremonies are so irritating and ridiculous' (Ziegler, King Edward VIII, 116)

88. The Polish Communists are just like radishes. They are only red on the outside'

89. The honest ratepayer and his healthy family have no doubt often mocked at the dome-like forehead of the philosopher, and laughed over the strange perspective of the landscape that lies beneath him. If they really knew who he was, they would tremble. For Chuang Tsu spent his life in preaching the great creed of Inaction, and in pointing out the uselessness of all things.

90. 'As a sleuth you are poor. You couldn't detect a bass-drum in a telephone-booth.'

91. The trouble with you, Spode, is that just because you have succeeded in inducing a handful of half-wits to disfigure the London scene by going about in black shorts, you think you're someone. You hear them shouting 'Heil, Spode!' and you imagine it is the Voice of the People. That is where you make your bloomer. What the Voice of the People is saying is: 'Look at that frightful ass Spode swanking about in footer bags! Did you ever in your puff see such a perfect perisher?

92. 'When I say 'mind,'' said the blood relation, 'I refer to the quarter-teaspoonful of brain which you might possibly find in her head if you sank an artesian well.'

93. Silly what's his name, the Shrek, whoever he was on the television this morning?

94. You boxhead you wouldn't know. You are flat out counting past ten.

95. This nervous chuckling and mocking of a guy who speaks the truth, the man who told you the truth more than any other in those debates, who wasn't afraid to make enemies and tell the truth, was Ron Paul. And they laughed at him: 'he deserves to be laughed at'. No Mitt Romney, you deserve to be laughed at, you elitist, oh I can't use the word.

96. Brother, thy tail hangs down behind! This is the way of the Monkey-kind!

97. 'I'll put my roody-poo foot up his roody-poo ass!' (about The Rock)

98. 'Pricecheck on jackass!!' (To Booker T after beating him up in a grocery store.)

99. 'You got your goofy little haircut' ('What?') 'Your stupid boots' ('What?') 'Your little dress' ('What?') (To Rowdy Roddy Piper at WM 21 with fans.)

100. 'It's funny your Dad always talks about having balls the size of grapefruits, but I think you might be the balls of the family.' (to Stephanie McMahon)