More from Henny Youngman

  1. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
  2. A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman 'Can I park here?' 'No' says the cop. 'What about all these other cars?' 'They did…
  3. I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up-they have no holidays.
  4. I asked a Jewish man 'Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?' He said 'Yes', and walked away.
  5. You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
  6. A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
  7. To Dean Martin-Dean, if you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
  8. Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

All Henny Youngman quotes